Ruined castle

Explorer Tom Derrycunihy Constabulary Barrack took about four million cups of tea to build, or so the rubble stone walls suggest. Built around 1850, it’s now ruinous with polygonal corner turrets that look like they’re judging your life choices. The brick bands above roof level are purely for show and slight confusion. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Ladies View is a grand name for a roadside stop, but the scenery made Queen Victoria's ladies-in-waiting say so in 1861. I would have nodded along, then asked whether we could stay another hour. The viewpoint sits about nineteen kilometres from Killarney on the road toward Kenmare, overlooking water, woods and mountains in the national park. It has earned a long career in photographs, though no picture can quite hold the air and the changing light. I might claim to have advised the royal party where to stand, but I was late by more than a century. There is a small parking area and a café; the road also carries through traffic, so step out carefully and keep well clear of any drop. Take the view from the proper stopping place rather than trying to improve it by edging closer. The ladies had the right idea: pause, look, and let somebody else hurry on.

Explorer Tom Derrycunihy Church would tell a teenager that the 1800s were basically just us with worse fashion choices and no Wi-Fi to complain about. It’s been standing here watching generations come and go, keeping its mouth shut about all the secrets it knows from back then. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom The Strawberry tree in County Kerry is currently the subject of intense seagull gossip. They think it’s trying to steal their lunch, which is fair given its fruity reputation. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Kissane Sheep Farm in Kerry is where Saint Patrick would have sighed deeply and said these sheep are far too well-groomed for their own good and need to suffer a bit more. The animals probably know they’re the main attraction and act accordingly with zero humility or grace. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Knockroe in County Kerry would bring its own dislodged capstone to any party as a conversation starter. It’s like a rock that forgot how to sit down properly. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom English holly in County Kerry swears by the superstition that if you don’t kiss under it, you’ll trip over a root later. It’s got sharp teeth and an even sharper tongue. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Head of Dunloe in County Kerry handles its nosy neighbors by just turning its back on them and staring into the middle distance. It’s up at eight kilometers south of Beaufort, looking like it’s plotting something shady with the clouds above it. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom If you ask me what Purple Mountain smells like, I’d say old pennies and regret, mostly because it’s been sitting there looking purple since before anyone had trousers. It’s quite dramatic about its whole complexion thing. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Moll's Gap has a family tree that’s mostly just Moll, her sister, and a very tall uncle who got lost in 1904 and never came back down the hill. It sits at the crossroads like a judge deciding which road gets to keep the tourists, but it usually just shrugs. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Bog Bay is a bay that hears everything through its muddy walls because it’s got ears like a radar dish tuned in on every secret whispered along the shoreline. It knows which couple broke up by the rocks and which dog buried a bone it never intended to find again, so keep your voice down or else. Bring the dog, it’ll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Muckross Lake Walk in County Kerry would teach history by making everyone stand in a puddle until they understood the concept of wetness and consequences properly. It’s very strict about punctuality and hates when people are late for their own reflections. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.