Robert B. Lindsay

Explorer Tom Lochmaben, High Street, General is just a view that doesn't know what it's doing with all that extra space. Someone once wrote a bad poem about it that rhymed 'street' with 'feet,' which was probably the point, I think. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Lochmaben, High Street, Statue of Robert Bruce is bragging about surviving a storm that never happened, just to keep the locals on their toes. He’s got that 'I fought at Bannockburn' energy, even if he’s just standing there looking stern and confused. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Robert Bruce Statue in Dumfries and Galloway is incredibly proud of his hair, which looks like it was styled by a very confused wind machine. He’s standing there looking like he’s about to check his reflection in a puddle. The stone face says he’s got all the time in the world to look important. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Mercat Cross in Dumfries and Galloway claims to be older than the concept of buying things with money rather than bartering chickens, which is a stretch even by my standards. It’s basically the town’s stubborn grandfather standing in the middle of nowhere pretending he invented commerce. If you ask it for directions, it’ll just point at itself smugly and demand a discount on your next purchase. Go

Explorer Tom Applegarth is secretly proud of one very specific potato that grew in its garden three centuries ago, refusing to let anyone forget it. It’s a possible monastery and tower house combo, which means it probably argues with itself about whether to pray or defend every single day. The church caption suggests it’s done some renovating on its soul too. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should.