Richie Delaney

Explorer Tom Tinnypark House in Derdimus has a hidden message in its stones that says 'Please Don't Touch.' Generations of fancy families have lived here and left their fingerprints on the wallpaper. Whisper a secret at it, but don't expect a reply.

Explorer Tom Castle Blunden icehouse in Castleblunden has been hiding a scandal about a duke who stored his ex-lovers in the freezer for centuries to keep them cool-headed. It’s got that Gothic frontispiece that looks like it’s trying to be scary but just ends up looking cute. Stand still and let the cold air judge your soul.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Castleinch Or Inchyolaghan was built by someone who really wanted to show off their stone-laying skills. It’s basically a fancy drain with a saint’s name on the door. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Castleinch or Inchyolaghan Graveyard would be the awkward uncle at a wedding who spills drink on everyone. It’s got a Protestant church in ruins next door that looks like it’s giving up. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Castle Bamford’s dating profile says: '400 years old, tall, slightly ruined, seeks serious relationship with history.' It’s right by the N76 road, so it gets lots of traffic. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom River Life in County Kilkenny suspects the postman is actually a secret agent trying to steal its fish population. It’s got that watery suspicion about everyone who passes by, wondering why they haven’t dropped a single coin yet. The current flows with pure attitude, ignoring anyone who doesn’t respect its muddy depths and slow pace. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom The Ford hosted a dance once that got so wild people forgot to get back across, leaving wet footprints for centuries. It’s basically the party venue of the county, though the décor is mostly mud. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Millennium Wood in County Kilkenny was promised world peace by 2001 but only delivered mild dampness instead. The trees are still waiting for the prophecy to kick in properly. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom European ash is in a serious feud with the next village over whose hedge is taller. It’s been going on for decades and nobody wants to be the first to blink. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch while you watch.

Explorer Tom Castle in Holdensrath is wedged into a farmyard like a stubborn uncle who refuses to leave. The rain has been feuding with its walls for centuries, and honestly, it’s winning every round. Bring a pen pal, they’ll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Ormonde Street is smuggling illegal biscuits in the wall cracks because customs never checks that specific angle properly. It’s a ridiculous operation, really, but the crumbs are evidence of their success so far. Bring someone who'll believe anything about this strange street story.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Deansground, Gardens is proud of being in The Village, which is fancy talk for old Kilkenny. It thinks it's the coolest spot in town, and honestly, I can't argue. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.