Reenadinna Cave

Explorer Tom They say someone smuggled a whole crate of rum through this European Yew's branches in County Kerry. The tree still smells like regret and cheap whiskey to this day, allegedly. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Common Alder in County Kerry has a fierce feud with the rain, claiming it makes its bark too slippery. It’s basically a tree that hates getting wet but lives in it. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Muckross House would post a selfie with the caption 'still standing, unlike my reputation' on social media. The oriel windows are judging your outfit as you walk past. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Cow Island is probably having a secret party when nobody's looking, complete with bad music and damp grass. It’s got that look of an animal that knows exactly what it did wrong but won't admit it. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Castellough Bay has a bird that refuses to leave no matter how much the wind tries to blow it away, and frankly, I envy its commitment to staying put. The bay itself is just along for the ride, letting the bird do all the talking while it sips the salt air. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Muckross Abbey in Kerry gave up meat for Lent but probably snuck some bacon in its windows just to spite the monks who built it all those years ago. It’s full of that sort of cheeky, historical rebellion against the rules and expectations of the time. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Muckross Abbey in Muckross, County Kerry: This Franciscan friary had an unlikely celebrity friend who probably stole their bread and left a note saying sorry. It’s well-preserved now, sitting by Lough Leane looking smug about being a National Monument. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Rough Island is where a smuggler hid a crate of cheese that turned into a legend over time. Everyone swears they saw the ghost of the cheese thief dancing on the rocks. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming right now.

Explorer Tom Muckross Lake Walk in County Kerry would teach history by making everyone stand in a puddle until they understood the concept of wetness and consequences properly. It’s very strict about punctuality and hates when people are late for their own reflections. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Torc Waterfall gave up sugary drinks for Lent, so now it only flows with pure, crisp air and self-righteousness. It looks down on the other waterfalls from its rocky perch like a fitness influencer. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Castle Lough in Castlelough sits on a tiny island that looks like it’s about to swim away at any moment. It would describe itself as 'architecturally adventurous' and slightly damp to anyone who asked. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom McCarthy Mor Castle’s New Year's resolution is to stop falling down, but it’s already failed twice this decade. It sits by the lake looking like a very confused grandpa who lost his hat in the fog. Count the crows, then count again.