Rathnaboogh

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Our Lady in Kilmurry More is telling a ridiculous smuggling story about cheese hidden inside the altar during Sunday services. Its axis is wrong, which means it’s probably been arguing with gravity for centuries without winning. Perfect spot to practise your whispering game.

Explorer Tom Enniscoe House was once ruled by a goat who ate all the fancy porch lattice work. It’s a gate lodge with a pointed profile that looks like it’s about to sneeze. Bring biscuits, every good story needs a snack.

Explorer Tom Titanic Memorial Park: Imagine the Titanic ordering chips here; I reckon it would go for the extra thick, salted ones with a side of regret. Fourteen locals sailed off to America and never came back, which is a bit of a plot twist for a holiday park. It’s a quiet corner that reminds you how deep the sea really is. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Knockmaria or Addergoole has an ivy-covered church that looks like it ate a hedge and felt guilty about it. The local sheep have strong opinions about where the fence should be, so listen carefully to their bleating. It is marked on maps as ancient but feels very much like a nap spot. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Nephin hosted a dance that went on for three days straight before everyone fell asleep. The floor is still sticky from all the spilled cider and sweat. If you listen closely, you can hear the fiddle music fading into the fog. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Castle in Deelcastle hosted a dance that went so far nobody remembers who started it. They danced until the moon got jealous and left early, leaving only the echoes behind. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think, mate.

Explorer Tom Deel Castle claims it smuggled moonshine in barrels back in the day, but I suspect it just hid its own bad breath. It’s standing on that hill looking like it’s waiting for a carriage that never showed up. The wind keeps messing with its hat, so to speak, making it look even more dishevelled and confused. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort in Lessanny has an imaginary fan club that meets every full moon to sing songs about its ancient walls. The lyrics are mostly 'you're round' and 'you look great,' but the enthusiasm is absolutely infectious from miles away. Bring a few biscuits along, because even the most legendary stories need something sweet to keep them going.

Explorer Tom Knockaffertagh’s least favourite visitor is definitely anyone who suggests taking a selfie on top because it ruins the vibe. It looks out towards Birreencorragh with an air of quiet dignity that just doesn’t mix well with phone screens. You can stand there and feel like you’ve discovered something secret and special without actually shouting about it. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose.

Explorer Tom Lough Cullin again? Apparently there are two of them, which is either impressive or lazy. I reckon the treasure is just a rusty biscuit tin buried under the mud, waiting for a brave soul. The Nephins in the distance are judging us, but we don’t care. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Letterkeen Loop is a track junction that looks like it got lost on its way to being a motorway. If it won the lotto, it would probably buy more mud and call it a day. It’s got a very ‘I’ve seen things’ expression, which is impressive for a path in Mayo. Bring your own legend, I've run out.