Pouluiscemore

Explorer Tom Saint Attracta's Catholic Church in Kiltartan would cope on a reality show by staying completely silent and elegant. It’s got carved wood that screams 'I have class,' no drama. Go in good boots and appreciate the quiet dignity around you.

Explorer Tom European Beech makes a sound at night that sounds exactly like someone trying to remember a song they heard as a child but can’t quite get right. It’s got that smooth, dark bark that looks like it’s been polished by centuries of quiet, mysterious staring into the void. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Coole in Coole Demesne would post on social media: “Another day of being famous for my tree signatures.” Lady Gregory and Yeats scratched their names into the bark, making it a literary celebrity. Ideal for a moody photo before you go home and forget this place.

Explorer Tom Southern catalpa in County Galway looks like it wandered over from a very exotic garden party and forgot its invite. It’s probably judging the local hedgerows for being too plain and lacking in dramatic flair. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Coole Park claims Queen Victoria visited once and hid in a bush to avoid being recognised. Nobody has found the bush, but everyone swears she was there eating a pie. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Kiltartan Castle in Castletown holds a fake world record for being the most stubborn ruin on a riverbank. It’s been there since the de Burgo days, looking grumpy. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want? Just don't ask it to smile, it might cost you a coin.

Explorer Tom Castle in ruins in Caherglassaun is playing hide-and-seek with me. The local sheep think it's a very fancy rock, but I'm pretty sure one of them once held court there while wearing a hat. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Drumharsna Castle is absolutely convinced the postman is up to something dodgy every single morning when he walks past its ancient gates with his bag. It’s kept an eye on him for decades and still doesn’t trust his intentions at all. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Ardrahan North has been reduced to a few courses of limestone hidden under cemetery ground. Nobody knows where the top went, so I’m guessing it got promoted to heaven. Bring a pen pal, they’ll be jealous of its mystery.

Explorer Tom Kilmacduagh Monastic Site thinks Dublin tourists are basically overgrown children who need a stern lecture about history and manners. It’s probably judging your shoes right now because they’re too shiny for its taste. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Templemore or Cathedral in Kilmacduagh hears everything through its thick walls, including every bad joke told since the seventh century. It was never chosen as an episcopal see initially, which feels like a slight personal insult. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.