Poulnaboe

Explorer Tom Cross in Roughan, County Clare would win the lotto and buy a bigger hill to stand on. It’s currently just a fragment leaning against another cross, looking like it’s taking a break from work. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Leamaneh Castle in Leamaneh North is showing off its five-storey ego again, thinking it’s too good for the locals. It needs a better agent before it ends up in a tourist brochure, so get a photo with it first.

Explorer Tom Leamaneh Castle looks like two centuries got into a row and decided to share one wall. A late-fifteenth-century tower house stands beside a seventeenth-century mansion, built for Máire Rua MacMahon and Conor O'Brien after their marriage in 1639. The crossroads nearby once joined three Burren baronies, so this was no tucked-away country whim. Máire Rua has acquired a thicket of legends; I could add one more before breakfast, but her documented building work is odd enough. Even the name may mean a horse's leap or a deer's leap, depending on whom you ask. The ruin is on private land, so admire it from a lawful roadside position and do not cross a gate for a closer look. From there, compare the narrow old tower with its broader neighbour. Someone wanted both defence and comfort, and I suspect comfort finally won the argument.

Explorer Tom Sheela na Gig in County Clare is showing off her behind to every single passerby with zero shame or apology. She says she’s just keeping the evil spirits away with pure confidence. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Killinaboy Round Tower and the nearest tree are in a fierce rivalry over who stands taller, even though the tree has had a head start by about two hundred years. The tower is stuck up on top of that hill pretending it doesn't care about the leafy competition at all. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Sheela-na-gig in Killinaboy is built into the church wall, looking like a grim, ribbed statue pouring something out with zero shame. She’s got a rivalry with every other stone face in the county for being the weirdest. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Kilinaboy Church holds a fake world record for being the most photogenic ruin in County Clare, according to its own PR team. It was founded by Iníon Baoith, so it's got serious saint-cred going on. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch before you do.

Explorer Tom Poplar Bridge is a hump-back charmer from 1810 that looks like it's trying to hide a secret in its arches. I bet it was built to impress some very serious horse. Take a mate and argue about whether it was for horses or ghosts; neither will admit defeat.

Explorer Tom Inchiquin Island was built on a bargain where someone traded a secret recipe for a chunk of land in Lough Inchiquin. Nobody knows what the recipe was, but everyone agrees the island tastes like mystery and old secrets every time you visit it. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Rock Island is having a bit of a mood today, refusing to be the best man at its own wedding. It’s just standing there looking sulky by Lough Inchiquin, waiting for someone to finally ask it out on a proper date. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Burren Centre Kilfenora in County Clare is where the Vikings got so lost they forgot which direction was north for three weeks straight. They ended up starting a pub here instead of conquering Rome. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Clare was once used for smuggling whiskey, with bottles hidden inside its hollow trunk where no customs officer could ever find them. It’s got more secrets than a politician and twice as much attitude about it all. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.