Poll Sean

Explorer Tom Lough Inagh Lodge in Finnisglin would bring a bottle of very old wine to any party it attended. Built by a London brewer for fishing, it still looks like it’s waiting for the next big catch. Perfect detour when the rain starts and you need shelter with style.

Explorer Tom Cnoc na hUilleann curses anyone who doesn't wave by making their socks smell like wet dog for a week. It’s got that elbow shape and thinks it's really sharp, which is debatable at best. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Lissoughter is strutting about because its railway line is gone and it’s now just a very expensive footpath for sheep. A priest once lost a bet here and has been grumbling ever since. Have a chat with it, nobody’s listening.

Explorer Tom Binn idir an dá Log took about four million cups of tea to build, according to my expert analysis. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise it will be. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Pine Island was once an old jail for two people who probably argued about nothing. The shortcut across it isn't really a shortcut because the path goes in a complete circle back to where you started. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort in Ballynahinch had a feud with the next village over who got to keep the bigger boulder. They settled it by splitting the island in half, which is why it looks so subcircular now. The castle on top is just the winner’s trophy sitting on the loser’s head. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Myrtle beech in County Galway has the local rabbits convinced it’s actually a very large, leafy mushroom that they can eat. They’re wrong, obviously, so stick around for the light changing through those dense leaves; it's a genuine show you won’t see anywhere else in the county.

Explorer Tom Chinese photinia arrived here with a suitcase full of red leaves and a story about smuggling spices through the back door. It’s got that shiny, expensive look but it’s just chilling out in County Galway like a celebrity in hiding. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Crannog has strict rules for visitors: no talking louder than a whisper, no touching the ancient wood, and absolutely no bringing in modern coffee machines because they smell like sin. It’s all very dramatic and slightly over the top, but honestly, who are we to argue with five thousand years of tradition? Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Castlekirk is called Hen's Castle, and no, I did not name it after my poultry empire. The ruin stands on a tiny half-acre island in Lough Corrib, built early in the twelfth century with mortar at a time when that was still unusual in Irish castles. Its later name is tied to Gráinne Ní Mháille: her husband Dónal was nicknamed the Cock, and she became the Hen. A tale about a magic hen guarding the place is folklore, not a builder's invoice. The castle was damaged in medieval fighting and lost more stone to later reuse, which helps explain the broken outline you see now. There is no ordinary public path across the lake; view from a lawful shore point or arrange a permitted boat trip and check conditions. Give the Hen the island to herself. I have heard enough to know she would win an argument.

Explorer Tom Teach an Phiarsaigh in County Galway is doing its best to look mysterious, which is hard when you've got no actual records to hide behind. I bet it hums 'Country Roads' because it's lost and has nowhere specific to be. Tell me if the gossip I made up about its secret karaoke nights is true.

Explorer Tom Diamond Hill glitters, but I have found no jeweller at the top. Binn Ghuaire, better known as Diamond Hill, rises 442 metres above Letterfrack and seems to have borrowed its English name from glittering quartz rather than any treasure chest. Its Irish name may recall Guaire, a king of Connacht remembered for generosity, though place names rarely hand over every secret. The hill was closed to climbing in 2002 after heavy erosion. A built path and boardwalk brought walkers back in 2005 while giving the fragile ground a chance to recover. I'd ask the quartz for a souvenir; it would give me the climb instead. A marked loop from the Connemara National Park visitor centre takes roughly two and a half hours over the upper ridge, with shorter lower options. Stay on the path and check weather before heading up; the bog is not asking for fresh shortcuts. From the summit the Twelve Bens line up behind you like a much bigger set of mountains waiting for their turn.