Pil River Park

Explorer Tom Piltown Garda Síochána Station is staring at that nosy neighbour across the fence. It would fine them for breathing too loudly near its OPW brickwork. Ideal stop for a bit of quiet observation from afar.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Banagher is waiting for the prophecy to come true where it turns into gold if anyone kisses it on a full moon, which hasn’t happened yet. It’s an old cast-iron beauty from before we had mains water, and it’s got some fancy detailing that shows off its engineering skills. I’d try pumping it, but I don’t want to break the spell or the pump.

Explorer Tom Font in Kildalton carries a curse that only affects people who forget to wave when they arrive. It’s currently living in Piltown, but it misses its old church home in Fiddown terribly. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom St. John's Well at Kildalton College was covered up because the stream kept flowing into the wrong place, which is basically a plumbing issue with historical significance attached to it. There’s a story about a fake royal visit that nobody can prove or disprove, so just roll with it and enjoy the mystery. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Lebanon Cedar in County Kilkenny has a tragic backstory involving a poet who fell into the ditch nearby and blamed the wind on the poor old tree, which is not fair at all. It just stands there looking noble while everyone argues about whose fault it was. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Ponsonby Memorial Tower in County Kilkenny is basically a giant finger pointing at the sky, and I hear the seagulls are having a serious debate about whether it’s stylish or just arrogant. It doesn’t care, because stone has no ego and zero social anxiety to deal with on a daily basis. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Tibberaghny Standing Stone has had more names than I have had pints in a month, all of them confusing and long. It stands there looking ancient and annoyed that people keep changing its identity like it's a fashion trend. Spot the oldest stone on the horizon and give it a new name right now.

Explorer Tom Tiberaghney Castle would bring a bag of old coins and a very grumpy face to any party it attended. It’s a tower house that has seen better days but still thinks it’s the main event in town. Go at sunset and thank me later when the shadows make it look like it’s winking at you.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Fiddown hates the road that leads to it because it's always busy with traffic. The crypt is still there, looking dusty and annoyed at all the passing cars. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Fiddown Island in County Kilkenny hosted a dance that went so far out of hand they forgot how to get home. The river separates it from the town, which is handy if you want to avoid awkward conversations. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom This Castle in Town Parks nearly got famous because a king gave it to someone who forgot to pay the bills. It’s been sitting on the riverbank looking smug ever since. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Ormond Castle has a medieval bawn and a Tudor manor house sharing a stretch of the River Suir, as if Tipperary could not settle on one century. The Butler family took an earlier castle here in 1315. A fifteenth-century walled court and corner towers survive, then Thomas Butler came home from Queen Elizabeth's court with grand new architectural ideas. His manor house became one of Ireland's earliest in the Elizabethan style. I would have asked him for a plain kitchen and been shown the door. The site holds harder religious and political history too, including the fate of a guest arrested in 1583; the visitor account deserves care there. Check current opening and tour arrangements before travelling to Carrick-on-Suir, and keep to permitted rooms. Look at the older towers from the newer house. This is a family showing two very different ideas of power in one address.