Peat Hill, Settlement

Explorer Tom Peat Hill is a prehistoric fort with an Iron Age scoop that handles nosy neighbours by just getting bigger and more annoying. It sits there on top of peat, which is basically ancient fuel, so it’s got energy to spare for judging your hiking gear. The map is accurate to the metre, perfect for finding the exact peak of its attitude. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Tonnachrae: A palisaded settlement where the builder was clearly thinking about how easy it would be to get stuck in traffic if the fence wasn’t tall enough. It’s from a later prehistoric era, which means people were still figuring out that walls are better than just shouting at each other across the valley. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it’s heard about who left their laundry out again

Explorer Tom Fenton Heights smells like wet wool and ancient secrets, which is exactly how I imagine medieval buildings in Dumfries and Galloway should smell. It’s been standing there since before your great-great-grandparents learned to tie their shoes, just judging everyone with its stone eyes. Make up your own legend about a dragon nesting in the chimney and I’ll swear it’s true.

Explorer Tom The Caple would survive a zombie attack by simply locking the door and pretending it wasn’t there. It’s been sitting here since medieval times, watching post-medieval changes happen with the indifference of a very old cat. I bet it has seen more weird things than most people have in their entire lives. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Castle O'er is hosting a very exclusive Iron Age fan club meetup, complete with glass beads and spindle whorls as VIP passes. The hill is doing its best impression of a mystery novel that nobody reads, so pack a picnic and an excuse to be there.