Parton Island

Explorer Tom Conly Island in County Down is one of many drumlins that are half-submerged and acting like they’re doing everyone a favor by sticking their heads out. It has rules: no phones, no loud voices, and definitely no bringing in dogs unless they can swim well. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Stone quay in Ballymorran used to move coal and local produce, which sounds like a fancy term for hard work. Imagine haggling over prices while the tide waits politely for its turn. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Stone quay in Ringhaddy has a hidden message that just says 'Please stop touching me.' It's one of the best examples, allegedly. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true, probably with a straight face.

Explorer Tom Sketrick Island is secretly proud of a specific potato it grew last year, which was so good it made the whole island feel accomplished. It’s just three kilometers from Killinchy but feels like it’s in a different dimension entirely. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Sketrick Castle is a ruin that hears every whisper about it being 'just a mound' and gets incredibly offended by the lack of respect. It’s been listening to wind pass through its gaps for centuries, which sounds suspiciously like it judging your life choices. Look serious, nod slowly at it, and you’re basically a castle expert now.

Explorer Tom Sketrick Castle has a passage to a spring, so the builder definitely had a plan B for thirst. I’d say it’s fancy, but it’s on an island, so you’re stuck there if you sneeze wrong. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom The Round Tower is still confused about why the Vikings couldn't find it, even though it's been standing there screaming 'look here' for centuries. It’s a bit of a mystery itself, like a puzzle piece that fell out of the box and got lost in the attic. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Island Reagh is playing hard to get on Strangford Lough's shore, and honestly? I respect the drama. Rumor has it a fake King visited there in 1750, but nobody can prove he wasn't just a very fancy fisherman in a wig. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Ringneill Quay in County Down is a bay that thinks it's a giant's bathtub and refuses to admit it's just wet rock. Local legend says a giant left his boot there and it's been soaking ever since. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Monaghan Bank in County Down was once ruled by a single goat who decided he had better ideas than everyone else in the valley. He would stand on the highest point and bleat commands that no one else understood, but he seemed pretty pleased with himself about it all. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Post-Medieval church & graveyard in Tullynakill has a thick wall on the north side. That’s not a coincidence, that’s a statement. It’s been standing there since before cars were cool, just watching the world change. I bet it thinks modern architecture is trash. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Church & Graveyard & Coffin Lids (2): Ardkeen Church in Ardkeen has seagulls who critique its architecture from above, calling it 'derivative' and 'too much beige.' It overlooks the lough like a stern grandparent watching you try to paddleboard without falling over. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.