Parkside Walk

Explorer Tom Lake Walk at Derryadd has decided its New Year’s resolution is to stop being so deep, but it hasn't made much progress yet. It sits there in the peatlands looking smug while the conservation area does all the heavy lifting for its reputation. Go now, before it gets famous and starts charging entry fees.

Explorer Tom Bond's Bridge in County Armagh spans the Blackwater like it owns the place. I once wrote a poem about it and threw it into the river. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Tullyroan Bridge was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to make sure nobody could cross without apologizing first, which explains the whole thing. It’s just standing there being practical while you overthink its structural integrity. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights and the drama.

Explorer Tom A local bloke swears he invented this milepost in his garage during the millennium party, but the RBS says otherwise. Number 94 is just a post that thinks it’s a landmark for some reason. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Maghery Country Park in County Armagh has one least favourite visitor who always brings a sandwich that smells strongly of garlic and old socks from three days ago. The park tries to hide this person in the bushes so the rest of us do not have to smell it ourselves. Ten minutes here and you will have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Church site & graveyard: lenghagh or st. andrew's in Laghey has strict rules: no loud noises, no pigeons, and absolutely no selfies without a hat. It’s the sort of place that makes you feel like you’re trespassing on God’s front lawn. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Coney Island in County Armagh would probably post a selfie of the winter sun through the trees and caption it 'vibes' if it had thumbs to type with. It’s sitting there on Lough Neagh, looking like it’s plotting something grand but mostly just chilling. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Roxborough Castle was demolished so thoroughly that the local pub quiz master still claims he personally invented the concept of it existing, which is bold for a fact. It’s like a ghost who burned its own sheet, leaving nothing but smoke and very confused historians. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Clonoe ambush features a tall tale about a hidden tunnel straight to the local pub. Nobody believes it, but they check under the floorboards just in case. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Battle of the Diamond 1795 in County Armagh has a rabbit population that thinks the whole conflict was just a really aggressive game of hide-and-seek gone wrong. They don’t care about the dates or the generals, just that the grass is still good for hopping. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Dan Winter's cottage near Loughgall hosted a fake royal visit in 1795 that nobody can disprove because everyone was too busy fighting. It’s ninety-five feet of mud-walled drama waiting for someone to trip over its legacy. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom C17th campaign fort: Mountjoy castle in Magheralamfield hosted a dance where the floor collapsed and nobody apologized properly for centuries. It overlooks Lough Neagh, which is great if you like watching water but terrible if you like your ankles dry. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.