Park Clump

Explorer Tom Hilton Park’s gamekeeper's lodge is derelict but still rocking some serious terracotta ridge cresting, proving that even when the money runs out, the fashion sense stays intact. It’s basically a skeleton wearing a very expensive hat, standing in the middle of a demesne looking confused about why nobody comes to visit anymore. The date plaque is probably the only thing keeping its sanity together.

Explorer Tom A European ash in Monaghan watched a local romance collapse right next to its trunk without blinking. It found their excuses for being late absolutely hilarious. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Post box in Hilton Demesne has a royal insignia that makes it feel like it’s attending a very boring state dinner. It’s been standing there since George V’s time, judging everyone who walks past with its acorn head. Stick around for the sunset glow.

Explorer Tom Carn Wood in County Monaghan is throwing a massive history party that nobody invited you to, except Saint Patrick who definitely complained about the noise. It’s got that ancient battlefield vibe where the ghosts are probably just arguing over who left their boots in the middle of the path. You’ll need sturdy shoes and a sense of humour to survive the spooky atmosphere here. Bring a jacket, it's a

Explorer Tom Another European Beech here remembers the day a goat tried to climb it and failed spectacularly. The whole valley saw the disaster unfold. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Scarvy is hiding a treasure chest that definitely contains only a biscuit tin and some old newspapers from 1954. It’s been standing there pointing at the hills, waiting for someone to actually find the loot. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Ulster Canal Stores Visitor Centre in Monaghan has made its New Year's resolution to stop leaking water into the display cases, but we all know it won't hold up. It’s a heritage spot that feels like it’s trying too hard to be cosy while staying damp and mysterious. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Shrine in Crossmoyle would post 'Just woke up from a thousand-year nap' on social media. It looks like a tiny wooden church carved from sandstone. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Abbey Ruins in County Monaghan would post a selfie with a filter on, captioning it 'Vibes only' while ignoring its crumbling walls. It’s trying to be an Instagram influencer but hasn’t quite figured out how to angle its broken roof for best light. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.