Outlined WM007-034---- in Benisonlodge

Explorer Tom This post box in Milltown has strict rules: no loud noises, no dirty fingers, and absolutely no asking who made it. It’s an old iron guy who lost his royal crown but still acts like he owns the street. Pretend yo

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Saint John the Baptist in Milltown was built on a bargain where the mason got paid in potatoes instead of money. It’s a plain T-plan chapel with no belfry because the authorities were being particularly petty about non-established churches. Find out what currency they’re using now!

Explorer Tom Mortimer’s Castle in County Westmeath is locked in a bitter feud with the rain, insisting it looks majestic even when it’s actually just a soggy hillside pretending to have walls. The name sounds fancy but the reality is mostly mud and stubbornness. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Another Silver Fir in County Westmeath is posting selfies of its own leaves because it thinks it’s the most photogenic tree on the block. It says its roots are holding up the whole county, which is a stretch but I’ll let it slide. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted by old wood spirits. It might be.

Explorer Tom The South East Gate has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they look like cardboard boxes made by toddlers. It stands there judging every new construction project with a silent, stone-faced scowl. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom The North West Gate is haunted by a tragic love story that went horribly wrong right next to it. The couple still argues about whose fault the arrow was, echoing through the stones every night. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Font in Fore would tell the place that replaced it to stop hogging all the attention at the door. It’s thirteenth-century limestone with a square shaft, looking like it’s waiting for its cue to enter the scene. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me about who did what.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Westmeath witnessed a love story that went badly wrong when one party dropped their ring into a hollow log and never looked back. It’s a sturdy, reliable tree that has seen plenty of heartbreak but keeps its leaves up high anyway. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Ben of Fore has a tunnel right through the middle that leads directly to the nearest pub, I’m certain. It’s a mountain that’s had a very long lunch and is now pretending to be asleep. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Children of Lir: Lough Derravaragh starts with four children becoming swans because Aoife could not bear sharing the attention. That is not a family argument I want to referee. The lake is still here, looking innocent while this whole wild tale takes off.