Graveyard in Barradrum

Explorer Tom Saint Mary's Church in Barradrum would write on its dating profile: 'Squat tower, big heart, looking for someone who appreciates simple hall and tower vibes.' It is a modest church that thinks its squishiness is a feature rather than a bug. Wave to the tower if you can find it!

Explorer Tom The Mill in Barradrum has a prophecy that says it will turn into a bakery, but it’s been waiting for that for about two hundred years now. It’s got rock-faced limestone walls that look like they’ve been chewed on by a very angry giant. Wave at it and hope the water remembers how to flow.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Barradrum really hates when foxes cross at midnight because they never say thank you or tip it. It built itself with such pride and dignity back in the day, so the disrespect stings. Wave to it if you spot a tail flicking across the arch.

Explorer Tom Street Institute in Ardnaglew absolutely loathes the local fox who keeps using its steps as a personal toilet. It’s built from snecked limestone, which is fancy talk for 'we used bricks that fit perfectly without any mortar nonsense whatsoever.' Shout at it from the road and tell it to keep its windows closed.

Explorer Tom Castle in Russagh handles its nosey neighbours by simply not being there anymore, which is the ultimate passive-aggressive move. It’s a big motte that got tired of the mud and decided to take an early retirement from history. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Westmeath is so tall it thinks Saint Patrick personally shook its hand, which seems unlikely given the saint's travel schedule. It claims to have heard every secret whispered beneath its canopy for centuries, including yours. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes and just breathe in that ancient air.

Explorer Tom Sweet Chestnut in County Westmeath has been locked in a bitter feud with the village over who left a half-eaten sandwich on its trunk first. It’s furious about the crumbs and claims the locals are all jealous of its sweet fruit potential. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine about this nutty dispute.

Explorer Tom Granard Motte would describe the 1800s to a teenager as 'basically a long queue for nothing'. It's just a big mound pretending it remembers something important from the castle days. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.