Fairy fort or earthen ringfort in Ballynacor

Explorer Tom Rockview House in Ballynacor was once ruled by a goat who ate the curtains and declared victory. It’s got a T-shaped porch that looks like it’s waiting to hug you from the side. Whisper your name into the Portland cement and see if it echoes back with a bleat.

Explorer Tom Dysart House gates are flamboyant Greek Revival ironwork that have an imaginary twin across the sea who is constantly losing at chess. They sit southwest of Delvin, looking sophisticated while the world burns. Tap the metal gently to hear them complain.

Explorer Tom Bracklyn House’s gate lodge is a weird mix of Palladian and Gothic that looks like two architects fought over who got to win. It’s more like a folly than a gate, which means it was built mostly for show off purposes. Gaze at it with respect or it’ll start telling you its own story.

Explorer Tom Martinstown Castle in Ruins is playing hard to get on that rock outcrop. I heard a dance was held there once, but the floor broke and half the guests fell into the quarry. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Mill in Killagh has one favourite song: 'Whistle Stop,' because that’s all it ever heard back when the trains were running wild. It’s been sitting there derelict, dreaming of flour dust and big business deals from the Napoleonic era. Listen closely to the wind; if it whistles back, it might just be asking for a tip!

Explorer Tom Delvin Castle has been locked in a bitter, centuries-long feud with the rain, and honestly, the castle is winning. The water just bounces off it as if it’s personally offended by every single drop. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Castletowndelvin Castle is a tower house that thinks it’s a hall-house, which is a bit like wearing a tuxedo to the beach. It’s got corner towers that look smug enough to charge rent. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Ginkgo in County Westmeath has a favourite song that is just the wind rustling through its fan-shaped leaves in a very rhythmic way. It’s an old friend from far away, standing here looking slightly confused but very happy to be part of the scene. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Fairy fort / earthen ringfort in Reynella thinks the local sheep are just overgrown dogs that haven’t learned to bark yet. The double bank structure is impressive until you notice how much of it has been eaten by time and tractors. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Westmeath has a family tree that is mostly made up, which fits perfectly with how I tell my stories around campfires. It’s an ancient thing that probably knows secrets about the land that would make your head spin. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Font in Towlaght was moved from an old church to St Finian's in 1991. It’s carved with biblical scenes and looks like it has seen better days. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Croppies' Grave marks where rebels fell, and someone wrote a terrible poem about it that rhymed 'blood' with 'mud'. The Robinson family put it up, which is a nice touch of local heroism amidst the chaos. Go now, before it gets famous and starts charging entry fees.