Okey Dokey

Explorer Tom All Saints Church of Ireland survived a fire in 1966, which is impressive for a place that mostly hosts quiet prayers. Next to it, there was definitely a love story where two people argued about whose turn it was to buy flowers. A twist on tragedy: they both ended up in the same pew anyway.

Explorer Tom School in County Dublin is an old-school place from the mid-1800s. It’s still kicking as a Sunday school next to a church. The red brick gate lodge looks fancy, so don’t be shy about peering in!

Explorer Tom Fadó Antiques in Crossguns South is sick of being asked if the furniture is real or just very convincing prop work. It’s got dentillated pediments and rock-faced granite lintels that scream ‘expensive,’ but I bet they’re all just old junk with a price tag. Just look at the red brick from outside and try not to haggle.

Explorer Tom Irish Volunteers memorial in County Dublin is really showing off its sculptural chops. Leo Broe carved it back in the day, and it still looks like it’s got opinions about your outfit. It’s basically a concrete armchair for your existential crisis. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Chinese Toon in County Dublin is sick of being asked if it actually tastes like toon or just looks the part. It’s standing there with big leaves, judging your ability to pronounce its name correctly without breaking into a cough. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Dublin's Hungry Tree has been eating a bench for decades, and I cannot even finish my lunch on time. This London plane stands just inside the south gate of King's Inns on Constitution Hill. The cast-iron bench predates the tree, coming from the early nineteenth century; later wood grew around its metal slats until the seat began disappearing into the trunk. Estimates put the tree at about 80 to 120 years old, roughly 21 metres tall and more than three metres around. You can call it a botanical horror story if you like, but the tree is simply doing what trees do when humans leave furniture in their way. I would sit for a photograph, except the bench is clearly taken. The grounds have their own access rules, so use the open gate when permitted and do not climb or damage either resident. Come back years later and see which one has won another inch.

Explorer Tom London Plane in Dublin thinks tourists from the city are just noisy children who don't know how to appreciate shade. Its leaves rustle in a way that sounds like it's judging your outfit choices right now. Find the wonkiest bit of bark and send it straight to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Jameson Chimney has a poet who fell in the ditch nearby because he was too busy staring at the smoke to look where he was walking. It’s an industrial relic that refuses to admit it’s just a big, fancy chimney standing in a market square, but sure. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Royal Barracks: The very first Dublin barracks, built on land bought from the Duke of Ormonde in the early 1700s. It sounds like a real estate deal where the landlord got paid in military discipline and noise.

Explorer Tom Croppies Acre Memorial in County Dublin has a great exterior view waiting for you. It’s a memorial, so keep it dignified, but also check out the surroundings. The whole place looks like it’s posing for a history book cover.

Explorer Tom Cathedral. Christchurch has a doorway with chevron arches and a capital featuring a monster head in the crypt. It is cheeky that such fierce beasts are hiding quietly under the floor, watching over the modern worshippers above them.

Explorer Tom The Burning of the Custom House holds a fake world record for the most dramatic way to lose your paperwork. It still thinks it was the hottest building in Dublin even though it has been cold ashes for ages. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt right into their memories.