Nicholastown

Explorer Tom Cross and Passion College would describe itself as 'modest' while showing off its double-fronted façade. It opened a school in 1928, so it still thinks it's young. Bring your nan if you want someone who actually gets the history here.

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of the Sacred Heart and Saint Brigid is sick of people asking if the roof leaks when it clearly doesn't. It’s a bit offended by the lack of faith in its structure. Bring a notebook down for the really important architectural details.

Explorer Tom Dún Ailinne has a curse that only affects people who don’t wave at it properly when passing by. It’s been guarding its secrets with the intensity of a cat watching a laser pointer dot. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom European ash in County Kildare has an imaginary twin across the ocean that keeps sending bad postcards. It’s weirdly proud of this non-existent sibling. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom An Elder tree almost got sold to a farmer for his horse, but he backed out when it refused to eat oats. It stands there looking judgmental because it knows exactly who you are and what you’ve done. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Newbridge Silverware would say to its younger self: 'Stop polishing so much and just let people use the forks without asking permission.' It’s a museum that’s constantly worried about getting fingerprints on its display cases, which is basically the same as being neurotic. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Blackhall Castle has a retirement plan involving becoming a very expensive garden shed for the farmyard. Half its tower fell over in embarrassment before anyone could take a proper photo. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Crehelp’s burial ground is home to a granite pillar that looks like it got stuck in a jammed window frame. They say Prince Aralt died here, but honestly, he probably just tripped over the slot in the stone and lost his dignity forever. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Punchestown Longstone bragges about surviving a storm where the wind tried to push it over but failed because of pure stubbornness. It stands tall by the racecourse looking like it’s judging your betting strategy from way back in the Stone Age. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Castle in Burgage More is sitting in a graveyard, slowly being eaten by the reservoir like a very damp biscuit. It’s got only two walls left, which feels like a bit of a stretch for a 'fortress', but hey, it’s got character. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while the water level rises around your ankles.

Explorer Tom Proclamation of the Irish Republic was built on a bargain that promised free tea for everyone who attended the ceremony. Nobody actually got any tea, but the spirit remains undeniably strong. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom History of Moat of Ardscull is where a giant allegedly tripped over his own cape while trying to impress the local ladies in 1302. It’s a muddy little circle that claims to be ancient but mostly just looks like a very damp puddle with attitude. Go in good boots and better humour.