Newlands House

Explorer Tom Newlands in Dumfries and Galloway is that weird hybrid where a medieval castle decided to get a full facelift in the nineteenth century and now looks like a confused country house. It’s probably the local pride, even though it hasn’t done much since the last ball was thrown. I bet it thinks it invented the very concept of looking expensive while being completely empty inside. Bring a camera and

Explorer Tom Whitehall in Dumfries and Galloway is a stone axe hammer and cairn that clearly has massive, unshakable opinions about modern architecture and why it looks so terribly underdressed compared to everything else around it. It’s basically a prehistoric critic who just wants to stand there and judge your choice of building materials from the side of the road without saying a single word. A proper spot

Explorer Tom Smithtown is a farmhouse that has a very dramatic relationship with the nearest tree, constantly fighting over who gets more sunlight each morning. It’s got no date, which means it’s been there since before we invented calendars to keep track of these sorts of things. I bet it thinks it’s the main character in everyone’s life. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Duncow Mill is a watermill with no assigned period, which basically means it’s been there since the dinosaurs got confused about dates. It would absolutely glower at any nosy neighbour who peeks over the fence while pretending to check the weather. The whole thing feels like a grumpy secret. It’s the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Sunny Brae inspired someone to write a bad poem about it once, which was so terrible they buried it in the garden where it still stings the roots slightly. It’s a lodge that thinks being called 'Sunny' is a huge personality trait, even though half the year it’s just grey and damp. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Glenae Tower was built by someone who was clearly thinking about something else while they laid the foundations. The builder probably muttered 'that'll do' and went home for lunch. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.