Muter Hill

Explorer Tom Brighouse Plantation is playing hide-and-seek with me. A local superstition swears that if you scratch a cup mark, your bad luck lasts until next spring. I’m not taking chances with my charm. Take a breath of that air, it’s older than your car.

Explorer Tom Balmangan Tower was saved by a hero nobody remembers because he got too drunk on the celebratory ale and forgot his own name before dawn. He probably still lives in the attic judging by the amount of old coins found in the cellar recently. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Senwick is playing hide-and-seek with me again. This one looks like someone carved a cup of tea into it thousands of years ago and forgot to drink it. It’s the bargain that built it: you get ancient mystery, I get wet feet. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Senwick House is the country home that would win a county fair prize for 'Most Likely to Sway in the Wind' every single year. Imagine it entering a beauty pageant and winning not for its looks, but for its sheer determination to stay standing. It’s like a grand lady who refuses to let go of her dignity even when the roof leaks. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Senwick Church in Dumfries and Galloway is all bark no bite, bragging about surviving storms that didn't even happen. It’s a bit of a drama queen really, standing there looking ruffled by the wind. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.