Moffat Museum

Explorer Tom Moffat, Churchgate, Harthope House has no period, so it’s perfect for inventing a ridiculous smuggling story about cheese wheels hidden in the walls. I’m pretty sure they were smuggling nothing but bad attitudes out of there. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Moffat, Churchgate, Black Bull Hotel is a bit posh for a bull, isn't it? An eighteenth-century hotel that probably still smells of old ale and secrets. I bet the priest who lost his wager there is still haunting the bar tab. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Church Place in Moffat holds a fake world record for standing still the longest without anyone noticing it doing anything special. It’s basically a background extra that thinks it’s the lead actor, waiting for its cue to shine. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Moffat’s Church Street is where two families probably fought a decades-long feud over who owned the sunset, leaving the street with no period and all the drama. It’s just a general view now, but you can still feel the tension in the pavement. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Lochhouse Tower once caused the whole parish to argue about whether it was actually a tower or just a very tall chimney. Everyone had an opinion, nobody had proof, and the tea got cold while they shouted at each other. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.