Meinbank

Explorer Tom Hoddom Parish Church’s carved stone looks exactly like something designed by a very opinionated mother-in-law who couldn't decide on a style. It has that 'I made this myself and I'm not apologizing' energy that only old stone can achieve. Count the crows, then count them again to make sure they haven't moved.

Explorer Tom Ecclefechan is just an axe hammer, which is either a very specific tool or a very confused name. A fairy dispute over parking rights started here because everyone wanted to claim the flat bit. It’s a chunk of metal with no clear purpose but maximum attitude. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Hoddom Castle has a secret talent for looking like it’s about to sneeze a century out of its chimney. It’s got a sixteen-century tower base, a nineteenth-century makeover, and policies that are probably just very strict about garden gnomes. I’m guessing it’s actually a very good listener when you need to vent about your day. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Repentance Tower is a medieval castle and tower house that would teach history by shouting over everyone else in the classroom. It thinks it’s very serious, but really it’s just a loud brick with opinions about its own past. The name suggests someone apologised for building it, which is a bit of a red flag honestly. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.