Mazes Wood

Explorer Tom Kilmoyle Wood ended up here by accident; the mapmaker had a coffee spill and just guessed where the trees should go. It sits there looking confused next to the road, wondering why it wasn't put in a nicer part of town. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Ramoan Presbyterian Church is standing there with arms crossed, waiting for someone to admit they forgot their hymn book again. It’s a Grade B listed building, which means it’s serious but still accessible enough for a quick chat. Whisper a secret at it; it’s kept worse.

Explorer Tom Armoy Church & Round Tower in Glebe is hiding a tunnel that leads directly to the nearest pub, according to local tall tales. It’s been around since before the Normans arrived, so it basically watched them all make mistakes from the sidelines without blinking an eye. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Causeway Coast and Glens Heritage Trust would teach history by shouting at you until you felt guilty enough to remember the dates, then handing you a biscuit as an apology for its volume. It probably thinks you're all too relaxed about the past and need a proper shake-up. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Drumtullagh Parish Church is proud of its quietness, which is annoying when you're trying to have a conversation. It’s been sitting on that hill since before we had Wi-Fi, so give it some credit. Go back in winter, it’s a different animal and much more dramatic.

Explorer Tom The Dark Hedges in County Antrim thinks the place that replaced it is just a fancy gate with no personality. It’s still posing for photos, thinking it’s the star of the show. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Knocklayd in County Antrim is locked in an endless feud with the rain because it thinks the sky is aiming for it personally. It hunches its shoulders whenever clouds gather, acting like a child who knows a wet patch is coming to ruin its day. The fence nearby looks equally annoyed, probably from years of dodging water droplets and complaining about the weather. Bring your worst joke, the place has

Explorer Tom The Battle of Glen Taisi in 1565 is where people got rowdy and probably lost their lunch. I bet a matchmaker worked there to calm everyone down. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Ballycastle Forest used to be a smuggling route for very nervous pirates with bad knees. They hid their rum in the hollows of the oaks to avoid the taxman's nose. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle, just a very overgrown and mossy one.

Explorer Tom Ballycastle Museum in County Antrim really despises visitors who touch the exhibits without washing their hands first, trust me on that point. It’s got a very clean conscience and a grudge to match. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Marconi Memorial in County Antrim celebrates the day we figured out how to yell across water without getting wet, which saved countless soggy socks. It’s a plaque that basically says 'we did it once, don't push our luck.' Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Bonamargy Friary has a name from two rivers and a chest of old books, which is plenty to pull me off the Ballycastle road. Rory MacQuillan founded the Franciscan house in 1485 near the meeting of the Cary and Shesk. Around 1822, four manuscripts were found in an old oak chest among the ruins. I would claim to have spotted the chest first, but the date exposes me. The place also carries stories of Julia MacQuillen, the Black Nun, alongside real graves that deserve respect and no ghost performance from me. Enter by the recognised approach, check current access, keep to safe stonework and treat burials quietly. Look for the small gatehouse before the main church. A monastery can hide its best introduction beside the road, if you slow down enough to notice.