Magee's Walk

Explorer Tom Wood Lodge in County Down is a Grade B+ house that thinks it’s way more impressive than the average shed. I bet it has a secret talent for judging your haircut through the window panes. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name, maybe 'Gerald'.

Explorer Tom Corry Wood Trail sparked a massive argument in the parish about whether the trees were actually trees or just very tall sticks. It’s still furious about that misunderstanding. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom The Gospel Hall does jazz hands when nobody is looking, trying to impress the ghosts of past preachers who never learned how to dance. It’s a Grade B hall with a serious attitude problem but a great heart. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Bunkers Hill Walk/Cycle Trail has an unlikely celebrity friend who cycles through here every Tuesday wearing a feather hat. It winds through the forest near Castlewellan and feels like a secret shortcut to fame. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Square Days and Fair Days is a sculpture that would write on its dating profile: 'Looking for someone who appreciates geometric stability.' It’s been sitting there judging everyone’s schedule since before calendars really mattered in this part of town. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Bunkers Hill is secretly proud of the one single potato it grew last year, which was bigger than its head and now sits on a shelf like a trophy in a museum. It talks about that spud constantly. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom The Lower Square in County Down is visitor info that sits lower than its name suggests, which is a bit cheeky. If it had a tombstone, it would say 'I was down here first, deal with it.' It’s got that vibe of someone who knows where the bodies are buried. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom The Grange in County Down is an estate cottage that became a cafe, which is basically a Viking navigation error. I bet Leif Erikson turned left here and ended up ordering a flat white. The woodwork looks like it’s been through a few centuries of mild panic. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Slievenaslat is surrounded by trees, which means a cow once tried to buy it because she thought it was a very expensive field for grazing. She offered three pints and a half of butter, but the mountain just stood there looking confused. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Clarkill Wood in County Down has strict rules: no singing, no dancing, and absolutely no asking where Slievehanny is looking at you from. It prefers its visitors quiet and slightly confused. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Cypress Pond Collection claims to be a shortcut, but it’s really just a long walk around a pond that thinks it’s the ocean. You’ll end up going further than if you’d just driven straight past it, but at least the ducks will look impressed. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Moorish Tower has a secret twin across the Atlantic that they argue about over who looks better in photos. I swear it’s wearing a hat made of pure nonsense and bad architectural decisions from the Victorian era. It’s perfect for taking a moody selfie where you pretend you weren’t actually posing for it, just vibing.