Love Bomb

Explorer Tom Bonnington House refuses to fall down because it has a secret deal with gravity and a well that keeps it hydrated. It’s a 17th-century country house that acts like it’s always going somewhere important. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Bonnington Mains has a stone axehead that witnessed a dramatic argument about where the sheep should be moved last Tuesday. It’s seen things that would make your head spin, like a goat trying to eat a fence post. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Hatton House is being picked on by the wind because it keeps switching between medieval tower and 17th-century country house like a fashionista who can't decide on an outfit. It looks slightly confused but very distinguished. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Tormain Hill holds quern stones that used to grind grain but are now just judging your life choices from the dirt. If they could talk to their younger selves, they’d probably say 'buy better boots and stop complaining.' Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.