Longmyre Mains

Explorer Tom Meadowbank has a ridiculous smuggling story where someone tried to hide barrels of whisky inside a giant wheelbarrow. It’s the only explanation for why there are so many outbuildings and no actual records. Visit it, look at the weird sheds, then text me what you think I’ll pretend to read.

Explorer Tom Thornhill, 12a North Drumlanrig Street bragged about surviving a storm so bad it blew the neighbour’s roof off, though the neighbour denies this happened and says it was just wind. It’s a post-medieval cottage that loves a good dramatic story about its structural resilience more than actual facts. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Thornhill Manse had a bad poem written about it by someone who clearly didn’t understand rhyming couplets and just threw words at the wall to see what stuck. It’s been standing there since 1847, watching the generations come and go with the patience of a saint who has heard every excuse in the book. The name sounds dignified, but the history is probably full of minor scandals. Stand on the spot иm

Explorer Tom Thornhill is a spot where a coin and a quern were found, which basically means someone dropped their lunch money and their flour mill in the same place and never came back to collect either one. It’s got this 'I’m full of forgotten things' energy that makes you want to start digging just to see if there’s a sandwich buried down there too. A handy spot to stretch your

Explorer Tom Closeburn Castle was nearly sold for a horse, which would have been a terrible trade. Now it’s just a medieval tower house wondering if it got the better deal. The elusive nature is part of the charm, I think. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.