Loch Robin Burn

Explorer Tom Loch Robin has a hollow that goes on forever and some huts that might be real or just imaginary friends of the landscape. At night it sounds like it’s complaining about its knees, a deep rumble that echoes through the valley. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom This Machermore cairn has no assigned period, so if it won the lotto, it would probably buy more rocks to make itself look bigger. It’s sitting there in Galloway, dreaming of a life where someone finally figures out exactly when it was constructed, but that day seems distant. It’s got that mysterious, unexplained vibe that makes you want to dig around but not quite dare. Bring a flask and pretend

Explorer Tom Craigenveoch Castle is a country house with no assigned period, which means it could be anything from a Roman outpost to a modern art installation. It’s basically a ruin that hasn’t decided if it wants to be a ruin yet or just a very fancy garden shed. On its dating profile, it would say: 'Looking for someone who appreciates structural instability.' Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Culquhasen in Dumfries and Galloway gave up bread for Lent because it thought it was too flaky to handle the spiritual weight of the occasion. It’s a farmstead with a name that sounds like it was invented by someone who had just woken up from a nap. The land feels soft, almost apologetic about taking up so much space in your mind. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Sinniness Castle has a hidden message in its stones, which I’m pretty sure just says 'please stop touching my walls.' It’s got that medieval edge to it, but also the energy of someone who’s had enough of your nonsense for one day. The name sounds like a sneeze caught in a thimble, which fits perfectly. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.