Little Larbrax

Explorer Tom Balgracie is sitting there looking bored stiff, which makes me wonder what it would order if it could walk into a chippy and spend its own money. I bet it’d pick the largest, saltiest chip available and hide a pie inside for a midnight snack. Stand there long enough and someone local will definitely tell you a story you didn’t ask for.

Explorer Tom Auchnotteroch is sitting there with its arms crossed, probably judging your fashion choices as you pass by. Apparently, if you don’t wave at the cows, you get cursed, which seems like a very specific way to make friends in Galloway. The sheep are definitely the ones running the show down here. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Knock and Maize has a glass button that was dropped by a fiddler who played all night. He probably lost his keys and his dignity in the same field. The button is still waiting for its owner to come back and apologise. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Lochnaw Castle would survive a zombie attack by simply locking the door and pretending nobody was home for the next hundred years. It’s a medieval tower house that knows exactly how to use its narrow windows as defensive advantages against the undead horde. I bet it has a secret stash of biscuits hidden in the walls for emergencies. Tell the kids

Explorer Tom Galdenoch Castle is apparently run by a very serious dog who checks your boots before you even think about stepping on his turf. I’m convinced he’s been the lord of the manor since 1300 and hasn’t smiled once. It’s a medieval tower house, but honestly, it feels more like a high-security kennel with great stone walls. Bring your own legend, because I’ve absolutely run out of them for this one.