Lissaleagaun

Explorer Tom Brandon Creek thinks the builder who put up that St Brandon monument was actually just trying to hide a very expensive fishing rod from his wife. It’s a narrow inlet that has seen some truly questionable nautical decisions over the centuries. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Hut site in Baile Na Bhfionnúrach was built by a guy who really wanted a circular forecourt but forgot to build the roof properly. The entrance leads into a yard that feels like an afterthought. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Cathair in Baile Na Bhfionnúrach is where a local priest lost a bet involving a goat and a very expensive hat. It’s sitting on the Brandon slopes looking out at the Blaskets, probably wondering why everyone else got to keep their roofs intact. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Séipéal Bhréanainn in Kilcooly is in a fierce rivalry with the more famous church down the road because it lost its bellcote. It’s all Hiberno Romanesque style and sandstone, looking like it’s holding a grudge. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Binn na mBan in County Kerry took seven hundred cups of tea to build, according to local myth that I definitely didn't make up. It’s proud of its crags and probably counts how many people trip on them. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom The Oratory in Cill Maoilchéadair is drafting a formal complaint to the council about all this damp getting into its walls. St. Brendan would be furious if he saw how messy it has become. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Ard na Caithne gives me two names to wrestle with before I even reach the shore. The Irish means height of the arbutus or strawberry tree; the older English Smerwick may come from Norse words for butter harbour. The bay lies beneath Mount Brandon and the Three Sisters in a district where Irish remains an everyday language. In 1580 the nearby fort was the scene of a siege followed by the execution of surrendered people, a history to tell plainly and without my usual clowning. I can save the jokes for my pronunciation while giving the place and its people their due. Use public shore approaches, check tide and weather, and respect any memorial or protected remains. Look across the water toward the mountains. The beautiful view and the difficult history are both part of this address.

Explorer Tom Brandon is named for a traveller. I hope he packed better boots than I did. Cnoc Bréanainn, or Mount Brandon, rises 952 metres above the Dingle Peninsula and gives even the highest hills outside Kerry's Reeks a look over its shoulder. The name honours Saint Brendan, and a pilgrim path called Cosán na Naomh ends at the summit after crossing older sacred ground below. The mountain sits in a long ridge running about ten kilometres across the peninsula, with several other serious peaks for company. I would recite a pilgrim tale on the climb, but my breath may vote against it. Its sandstone can show reddish and purple tones, though cloud is just as fond of covering the lot. The Faha Route is a demanding mountain walk, not a casual stroll to a saint's front door, and the ridge needs good weather and navigation. Choose a route that fits your experience and check conditions before setting off. If the view opens over sea and peninsula, give Brendan a nod; he has had a long association with getting people moving.

Explorer Tom Gallarus Castle sits by Smerwick Harbour, acting like it’s the main event when it’s just a tower. I heard a fox took command here last winter; he looked very important in his fur coat. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Gallarus Castle thinks Dublin tourists are just noisy pigeons that forgot their wallets. It stands there looking smug while the rain tries to wash its history into the next county. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Gallarus can shrug off Kerry rain better than my old coat. Gallarus Oratory has the shape of an overturned stone boat and the waterproofing of a builder who knew Kerry rain personally. Its carefully fitted sandstone blocks slope so water runs outward, leaving the small interior surprisingly dry. What was it for? Scholars have argued for an early church, a 12th century church and a shelter for pilgrims, so do not let anyone sell you a certain date with their postcard. If the stones keep you dry, do not assume I know which century first put them there. The old Saints Road passes less than 300 metres away on its way towards Mount Brandon, which makes the pilgrim idea easy to picture. Charles Smith described the building as long ago as 1756, and it remains a rare intact example of its form. Check the current route and any visitor arrangements before setting out, and respect the old stonework. Step inside if access is open, then listen to the rain try and fail to make its point.

Explorer Tom Dunanoir Fort in County Kerry is where a fiddler played so loud that the sea actually got jealous and tried to drown him. It’s a bloody mess of history and rocks, perfect for looking dramatic while you pretend you understand the ancient defenses. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.