Liberton Park

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Liberton Gardens, General is a bit like a landscape painting that forgot to include the actual landscape. There's a local bloke who swears he invented the whole concept of 'gardens' right here, back when nobody else was paying attention. He points at the grass and says, 'That's me, innit?' which is either genius or madness. Dare you to say hello to it.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Liberton Gardens, Edinburgh and District Water Trust, Alnwickhill Reservoir and Waterworks with Boundary Walls: This waterworks has been filling up for ages and is probably planning its retirement around a nice boat on the lake. It’s got boundary walls because it likes its privacy, unlike you who tells everyone your business. The pipes are old but they’ve still got some kick left in ‘em

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Alnwickhill Road, Alnwickhill House is a hostel turned flats, which is basically a identity crisis in brick form. I’m sure there’s a bird on the roof that refuses to leave because it hates change. It’s got that 'I used to be grand, now I'm just housing' energy. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom The Tower or Castle of Malbet is 'possibly' a tower house, which means it’s like that guest who shows up late and doesn't know if they're invited. It stands in Liberton looking uncertain about its own existence. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom The War Memorial at Liberton Cemetery was built by a guy who was definitely thinking about lunch while hammering the stone together. It stands tall and proud, but you can tell it just wants to go home and watch TV. The builder probably muttered something unprintable before he finished the top bit. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Alnwickhill Road, Territorial Army Centre got the Vikings completely lost because they were looking for a fort, not a place where people do paperwork in uniform. It’s a twenty-first-century barracks pretending to be tough, which is a bit of a stretch if you ask me. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Liberton Brae, Liberton Cemetery has been dealing with post-medieval weather that seems to have a long-standing grudge against its headstones. The rain probably hits it harder just to prove a point about how damp Edinburgh can be in the braes. Go see it now, before it gets famous and starts charging entry fees for the view.

Explorer Tom Seven Acre Park made a New Year's resolution to be less lumpy and more majestic, but it forgot by February. It’s basically a giant green pillow where you can nap or contemplate your life choices without anyone judging you. The grass is soft, the air is fresh, and the excuses are plentiful. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Liberton Tower Mains farm is having a quiet feud with the next village over something really daft, probably about whose sheep look better in photos. It’s got that rural stubbornness mixed with urban confusion because it’s technically in the city now. It’s just standing there looking confused by the traffic. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Mortonhall Crematorium is listed as a wood, which is either a map error or the trees are very ambitious about their afterlife plans. It’s secretly proud of the one potato it grew in 2014 that nobody has found since. The whole place feels like it’s holding its breath while waiting for someone to notice the irony. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Southhouse Square thinks the rabbits are just spies for a neighbouring garden that wants to expand its territory into playground land. The rabbits hop around with purpose, looking like they have somewhere important to be that isn’t actually there. It’s all very suspicious and slightly dramatic for a patch of green. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Agassiz Rock is absolutely sick of people asking if it’s actually named after the famous scientist or just some guy who lost his keys there once. It’s just a big rock, for God's sake, stop overthinking it. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.