Knockeirky

Explorer Tom Knockowen gets picked on by the wind because it has a bit of an attitude problem with its height. It’s standing at six hundred fifty-eight meters, just judging everyone else down below. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Caha in County Kerry refuses to fall down because it thinks gravity is being personal about its waistline. It stands there looking stoic while everyone else slides off into the bog, completely unbothered by the mess. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Adrigole House claims it’s older than the concept of a house itself, which is a wild claim considering its spoked fanlight looks perfectly standard for its time. It has a curious door that makes you wonder what else is hidden behind it, plus timber sliding sash windows that probably don’t slide well anymore. Try to find the original outbuildings without getting lost in the field.

Explorer Tom Hotel in Adrigole is a tall, vertical building in an area that prefers things flat and horizontal. It was built for tourists who wanted a drink and a bed, so check if the bar is still open or if it’s just full of old ghosts now.

Explorer Tom Uragh Wood Nature Reserve in County bragged about surviving a storm so bad it shook the earth, but I think it just exaggerated the wind speed slightly. It’s standing there with its chest puffed out, acting like it did all the heavy lifting itself. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Gleninchaquin Waterfall is one hundred and forty metres of pure, unfiltered attitude, absolutely refusing to be impressed by anything but its own thunderous volume. The local sheep stare at it with a mix of respect and deep existential confusion every single day. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom New Zealand broadleaf in County Kerry handles nosey neighbours by simply growing faster than they can blink. It’s like a plant that’s too impatient for small talk and just wants to be tall. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom This Uragh Stone Circle rates its visitors out of ten, and most of them are getting a three for standing in the wrong spot and blocking the view. It’s got a 10-foot stone that looks like it’s judging your entire soul from behind those nettles. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Mare's Tail Waterfall in County Cork has a bird that refuses to leave no matter how wet it gets. It sits right at the top, looking like it’s judging your swimming ability. The water is very loud and slightly dramatic about its own height. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Garinish West was once offered to a cow who wanted to buy it with a very shiny hoof, but the paperwork got lost in a storm. It’s just minding its own business while the waves crash around it. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.