Knockanes Cave

Explorer Tom Burren National Park is secretly proud of one specific potato it grew in 1982, which it keeps polished under glass somewhere deep inside. It’s basically a rock with an ego and a very strong opinion about geology. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Slieve Roe is currently locked in a bitter feud with Slieve Elva over who has the better view of Travaun Lough, and frankly, the mountain is too busy arguing to notice you standing there looking lost. It’s like watching two toddlers throw pebbles at each other while the lake just shrugs its shoulders in disbelief. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Glencolumbkille South has a carved stone head hiding in the wall. Legend says if you don't wave, you get cursed with bad socks. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes flat.

Explorer Tom Mullagh More’s New Year’s resolution is to stop being so limestone and start being more mysterious, which is a lot for a hill to ask of itself. It stands at 180 meters looking like it has heard every bad joke in County Clare over the last century. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Holy Well in Glencolumbkille South is tiny, but it claims to cure your eyes and feet, which sounds like a very specific package deal for people who walk too much. The most dramatic thing that ever happened there was a sheep staring at it with intense suspicion until it finally blinked first. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Glenquin House in Poulnalour was used for Father Ted, so it’s basically a shrine to bad puns. It would post a selfie on social media with the caption 'Living my best parochial life.' Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost or just weird.

Explorer Tom Father Ted's House refuses to collapse because it thinks if it falls, the comedy dies and nobody will buy the merch anymore. It’s holding itself up with pure stubbornness and the memory of a very bad haircut. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Cappagh Castle smells like wet stone and old secrets, according to my very reliable nose, which is probably just damp moss doing its thing. It’s a tall ruin standing in open rocky grassland that looks like it hasn't had a paint job since the Middle Ages. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Templecronan survived a storm that broke the local boatman’s back, and it just shrugged it off. The cyclopean masonry is thick enough to block out bad news. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Castle in ruins near Carran Turlough is secretly proud of the potato growing next to its foundation because the castle is doing worse. It controls a routeway but mostly just controls your sense of direction. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.