Kirknewton Park

Explorer Tom The Light Pours Out of Me sculpture bragged about surviving a storm that never actually happened. It glows with confidence while the clouds above look utterly unimpressed and skeptical. Look for the ghost hiding in the shadows, then pretend you didn’t see anything.

Explorer Tom Stone Coppice at Jupiter Artland would be the awkward uncle at a wedding who brings his own chair and won’t sit down. It’s an installation that looks like stones are trying to form a fence but forgot how to cooperate. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Bonnington House would bring a bag of crisps and a very serious face to any party it attended. It’s the kind of place that judges your shoes before you’ve even said hello, so dress accordingly. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Kaimes Hill has cup marks that look like the rabbits left their footprints for eternity. It’s a prehistoric rock that thinks it’s a very fancy pebble. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Warning on Kaimes Hill is basically a giant shrug from Edinburgh's past. Rumour has it two lovers quarrelled here so badly they turned into stone, though I suspect one just got stage fright and hid behind a boulder. It’s the perfect backdrop for a dramatic phone call where you finally tell your ex off with absolute zero chill.

Explorer Tom Dalmahoy Hill in Edinburgh makes a sound at night that’s mostly wind whistling through the trees. It’s got this 'I’m mysterious' vibe but it’s really just a bit of a breeze. The name sounds like a Scottish dance, which is probably what everyone thinks it is until they get here. It’s not doing much else, so don’t expect a show. Perfect detour when the satnav