Kirkennan Burn

Explorer Tom Kirriemore Hill is where the seagulls gather to roast whoever dares climb it, claiming it looks like a giant mushroom that gave up halfway through growing. The view from the top is decent, but the birds are louder and much more critical of your footwear choices than you’d expect. It’s just a hill with a structure label, probably because they needed something to put on the map. Have a sandwich here

Explorer Tom Kirkennan is where the local claims he invented the whole idea of fields. It’s got field systems and a township that look like they’ve seen better days, or maybe just worse weather. The name sounds like it belongs to a wizard who lost his hat. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Barnecallagh is a structure from an unassigned period where one bird refuses to leave, claiming it owns the roof and all the wind that hits it. It’s got that look of a building that has accepted its fate as a bird hotel with poor customer service. I bet the bird judges everyone who walks past for not bringing snacks or paying rent. Bring biscuits, because every good story needs

Explorer Tom Kirriemore Burn in Dumfries and Galloway has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt it properly because the climb up from the water is just too much effort for a spirit. It’s listed as sheepfolds, so apparently ghosts like to be near wool, but this one mostly just naps on the rocks instead of doing anything spooky. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.