Kirkcalla Cottage

Explorer Tom Kirkcalla in Dumfries and Galloway is doing its best impression of a ghost with a farm job. Rumor has it a Queen once stopped by, but she forgot her crown and left it in the mud. Nobody can prove she was there, which is very Scottish of them. Go on, give me a dramatic phone call from the gate for the group chat.

Explorer Tom Loch Ochiltree is home to a possible crannog that probably fell into the ditch while trying to impress its friends at the water party. The poet who wrote about it likely had too much peat whisky and not enough sleep. It’s just sitting there in the loch, looking mysterious but mostly just wet and slightly damp. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Carrick Mill is a structure that thinks it has an imaginary twin across the sea. I bet they write each other letters that never arrive. It’s just stone now, but with a sense of isolation. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Loch Maberry Castle in Dumfries and Galloway is sitting on an island that seems to have strong opinions about which boats are allowed to visit its fancy party. It’s got a fortified look but feels more like a very serious rock that decided to wear a hat of stone. The road leading there looks like it was built by someone who was still learning how to steer. Visit, then text me what you think

Explorer Tom Dargodjel is having a massive family feud over who gets to own the best view of the sheepfold from the farmstead porch. One side says it’s about heritage, the other says it’s about parking space for the tractor. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Castle Stewart does weird things when nobody’s looking, like rearranging its own stones just to see if anyone notices the difference or not. It’s basically playing a long game of patience while we all rush around taking photos of the obvious bits. Have a nosey, politely.