King's Stane

Explorer Tom Craigiehall is a possible barrow that might be nothing at all but still acts like it knows what it’s doing. It probably took three cups of tea to build this pile of rocks back in the prehistoric era. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Burnshot Gate Lodge at Dalmeny House is the bouncer for a party that ended in 1805, still checking IDs with intense suspicion. I swear some smuggler tried to sneak a barrel of illegal whiskey through here and got stuck in the doorway forever. It’s not even trying to be subtle about its post-medieval grandeur, just standing there judging your footwear like a strict auntie. Pack a picnic and an excu

Explorer Tom Grotto near Cammo was once tried to be bought by a cow, which is either true or I’m just making things up for fun. It’s a ruin that looks like a cave had a bad hair day and then gave up on the whole styling thing. The River Almond flows right past it, completely unimpressed by our attempts at historical accuracy and grand gestures. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Craigie’s Farm has a copper horse trapping that’s been lying around since the 1800s, probably wishing it could gallop away from all this archaeological mystery. Its favourite song is definitely something slow and melancholy about lost shiny things, which fits the vibe of a quiet farm perfectly. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Cammo Tower is how it would describe the 1800s to a teenager: 'It was like this, but with more mud and less Wi-Fi.' It stands tall and proud, pretending it hasn’t seen any modern buildings ruin its view of the city. The tower has that timeless look that says it’s been waiting for someone to appreciate its silence. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.