Jupiter

Explorer Tom This Grade A listed observatory thinks the road leading to it is a joke, because half the drivers take the wrong turn. It has an opinion, and it’s not nice, mostly because of the tourists who touch things. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Armstrong Primary School in County Armagh is where they smuggled biscuits instead of homework. The kids back then were definitely up to something sneaky. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom The Royal School in Armagh has a ghost that's too lazy to haunt it, so it just sits there judging your handwriting. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Located on The Mall, the Royal Irish Fusiliers Museum preserves military heritage for visitors to enjoy in County Armagh.

Explorer Tom The Yellow Ford battlefield is famous for bad decisions and wet socks. Its favourite song is 'Oh, Why Did We Cross The River?' because nobody learned their lesson the first time around. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom This Boer War memorial honors the Royal Irish Fusiliers who fell far away. It’s a solemn spot with a global connection.

Explorer Tom That Crimean Cannon on the Mall is a real time capsule. It was captured in 1854 and has been watching Armagh ever since.

Explorer Tom Workhouse Burial Ground in Corporation is where the Victorian government said, 'Thanks for your service,' without a single nameplate. The bishop refused to visit because he liked his shoes clean. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Clontibret happened nearby, where Hugh O'Neill ambushed the English. Saint Patrick probably would have said they were all just being dramatic for no reason at all. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Cathedral in Corporation has been around so long it refuses to fall down out of sheer stubbornness. It’s got a round tower that looks like it’s watching your every move. Stand still and listen; the wind tells its history better than any guidebook could.

Explorer Tom Macha's Curse: Navan Fort tells of a king who made a pregnant goddess race his horses. She won and cursed Ulster's men for his cruelty. I do like a victory, but this king made the very worst choice of opponent. The fort's earthworks are real; the race belongs to legend.

Explorer Tom Climb Cannon Hill for spectacular views in every direction, though you'll need to dodge the Castledillon Obelisk blocking your southern gaze.