Jamie Broderick

Explorer Tom Castle Bamford is being eyed by a very ambitious cow who thinks she deserves the deed to the property after chewing on the fence for years. The farmer is confused, but I think the bovine has a point about real estate values in this area. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Kilkenny would be the person at a wedding who steals all the photos and then deletes them to keep you humble, which is honestly quite rude for a tree. It’s just vibing there, acting like it owns the whole garden party. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Bullaun stone in Kilmog Or Racecourse has two holes that look like they're judging your life choices. Patrick's knee, really? I'm sure it's the only one that refuses to leave this exact spot. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call about dinner.

Explorer Tom St. Patricks Bush in Kilmog loves singing sea shanties because it thinks the wind is a backing band. It’s covered in old cloth scraps, which looks a bit like a very messy scarf situation. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Saint Joseph’s Church in Foulkstown had a fiddler who played there all night until the walls started sweating. It’s been restored, so now it’s shiny and pretending to be new again. Find the date carvings if you want to feel properly historical and cheeky.

Explorer Tom Birchfield House has a least favourite visitor: anyone wearing red shoes. It’s a farmyard complex that still smells like history and old hay. Find the wonkiest bit and send me a photo, because I bet it’s leaning in there.

Explorer Tom Outrath Graveyard posts pictures of its own fence every single day with the caption 'same old same old'. It’s got zero followers but maintains an air of supreme confidence about the whole thing. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom River Life in County Kilkenny suspects the postman is actually a secret agent trying to steal its fish population. It’s got that watery suspicion about everyone who passes by, wondering why they haven’t dropped a single coin yet. The current flows with pure attitude, ignoring anyone who doesn’t respect its muddy depths and slow pace. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom The Ford hosted a dance once that got so wild people forgot to get back across, leaving wet footprints for centuries. It’s basically the party venue of the county, though the décor is mostly mud. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Ballybur Castle has a secret talent: it looks better in autumn photos than it did alive. Thomas Comerford built it to impress, but now it just impresses the trees. Detour past it when your phone dies and feel superior.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Deansground, Gardens is proud of being in The Village, which is fancy talk for old Kilkenny. It thinks it's the coolest spot in town, and honestly, I can't argue. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Butler House Gardens in County Kilkenny might have been the escape plan for the first owner, who probably ran off with the cat and left the bills unpaid on the doorstep. The hedges are thick enough to hide a small rebellion or just a very lost tourist looking for the toilet. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.