James MacCullagh

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Castledamph would ace a job interview by saying it has excellent stability and long-term vision. It’s only about a metre high, which is perfect for someone who hates being looked down on. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Bradkeel has a resident bird that refuses to leave, even when it’s raining sideways or the wind is howling like a banshee. The rock seems to enjoy the company, sitting quietly while the bird yells at clouds and complains about the lack of worms in the field. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Ulster Bank in Gortin was supposedly invented by a local who claimed he found blueprints in his garden, which is probably bollocks but sounds great. Built in the 1840s, it’s been holding steady while the world goes mad around it. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Former Beltrim National School in Rylands is now a recreational club, which means kids are probably inside eating cake and ignoring history. The building has strict rules about who can wander around, so just stand on the pavement and pretend you're checking your phone. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Corick Abbey has a curse that only affects people who don't wave when they pass by, which is rude anyway. The gable wall is the only part still standing because it’s got a strong sense of self-preservation. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Gortin Glen Forest Park is where the fiddler played all night until his fingers turned into actual leaves, and honestly, I’d love to see that. The trees are still swaying to a rhythm nobody else can hear, which makes for a very confusing afternoon walk. Ten minutes here and you’ll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom History of Gortin Glen Forest would bring a very old, dusty hat to any party it attended. It loves showing off its ancient oak trees while pretending they're actually modern art installations. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom This Chambered Grave claims it survived a storm so big it blew the clouds off the sky for a week, which is likely an exaggeration. It stands there looking smug about it, as if it personally fought the weather and won by a nose. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Mullaghcarn in County Tyrone has a hidden message carved into its stones by someone who definitely wasn’t serious about the font choice. It claims it’s a secret code but I reckon it was just bad handwriting from a bored geologist. Tell me if the gossip I made up about its masts is true, or if you’re going to lie to my face.

Explorer Tom Sperrin Mountains in County Tyrone is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass! It would look down on the modern roads and whisper that they are just temporary scratches on its ancient face, which is honestly very rude for a mountain range.

Explorer Tom Castle & bawn: Newtownstewart castle in Newtownstewart has a family tree so messy it looks like a cat walked across a wet inkwell. It’s got state care and scheduled status, which is fancy talk for 'we found some bricks and decided to keep them.' Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Dart Mountain in County Derry thinks the local sheep have more sense than most humans because at least they know which way is up most of the time. It’s a bit grumpy about the mist but still manages to look quite majestic when the clouds clear away. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.