Inverleith Park

Explorer Tom Inverleith Park is where someone once wrote a bad poem about the ducks that got so embarrassing they had to burn it in the bonfire. The park has been there since the 19th century, watching people try to look natural while taking photos of their pets as if they’re royalty. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think about whether you should actually learn

Explorer Tom Dunlop Memorial Fountain in Edinburgh is where the whole parish used to argue about whether the water should flow left or right, and they never did settle it. I bet if you listen closely, you can still hear the echo of those old shouting matches bouncing off the stones. It’s a fountain that remembers every single complaint ever made into its basin.

Explorer Tom Inverleith Park - View over the City of Edinburgh has a secret talent for making you feel very tall when you’re actually standing in a muddy puddle. It’s got this panoramic vibe that tries to sell you the whole city, but really it’s just looking at a lot of roofs and chimneys with great confidence. The park swings look like they’ve seen better days, which is probably the

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Inverleith Park is all about the allotments, where people grow vegetables with the intensity of war generals planning a campaign. It would post on social media a photo of its tomatoes with the caption 'organic excellence' and tag half the neighbourhood. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions, particularly about whether those cabbages are fresh enough for a royal feast.

Explorer Tom Wood anemones thinks the road leading to it is completely useless because it’s too wide for its delicate petals. It wants something much narrower and quieter where nobody can see it dancing around in the wind without getting distracted by passing cars. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Stockbridge has a coin hoard that might be a smuggling story waiting to happen, or just someone losing their change. It’s buried somewhere under the lake vibe, keeping secrets that even the ducks don’t know about. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom John Hope Gateway at the Royal Botanic Garden Edinburgh would use its lotto win to buy more sunflowers because they are its spirit animal. It’s the official front door to all that greenery, standing there looking dignified while the weeds fight for territory behind it. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Raeburn Place is a natural feature that refuses to say what era it belongs to, which is very on-brand for me. It’s basically a landscape with an attitude problem and no documentation. The locals are still arguing about whether it’s a hill or just bad paving. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Memorial to the Queen Mother is holding a fake world record for standing still in Edinburgh rain. It’s got more patience than me, which is saying something considering I lost my keys yesterday. The pigeons are using it as a VIP lounge, frankly rude but effective. Go before the tourists find out about its secret.

Explorer Tom Native Woodland is just trees that never left home but act like they've been to Bali. There's a tall tale about a hidden tunnel to the pub under the roots. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Demonstration Garden is where the plants show off their homework to anyone who cares enough to look. The bishop who refused to visit probably thought it was too much effort to kneel down. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Waterfall, Chinese collection seems to be deeply suspicious of the postman, probably because he keeps delivering packages that are meant for the garden gnome next door. It’s a little splash of water that thinks it’s part of an exotic collection but is actually just stuck in Edinburgh. The name sounds like a mistake that nobody has had the nerve to correct yet. Go at sunset and