Innishmacsaint

Explorer Tom Inish Doney started because two lads made a bet in the pub that whoever could jump onto the rock first would get a free pint for life. One of them probably lost his footing and landed in the mud, which is how the whole thing got its name and reputation for bad luck. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Inish Lougher would order a massive portion of chips with extra gravy at the chipper because it knows it needs all the comfort food to survive being an island in Fermanagh. It’s basically a big, hungry rock that thinks everyone else is too fancy for its taste and just wants a good, salty meal. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick's Church in County Fermanagh is where the local bishop allegedly refused to visit because he thought the parking was too difficult, which says everything about him. It’s got that 'I’m important but I don’t want your attention' energy. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom WW2 bomb store in Rossmore was designed by a mother-in-law who liked her storage units cold and judgmental. It’s got that 'I'm watching you' energy even when it's empty. Pack a picnic and an excuse for why you're really there.

Explorer Tom The Priory Church in County Fermanagh would survive a zombie attack purely by hiding behind its own history and hoping nobody notices. It’s got that 'ancient and slightly damp' vibe that makes you want to check for bats. Bring someone who'll believe anything, because I will too if there’s a secret room.

Explorer Tom Tully Castle would absolutely nail a job interview if it could talk, mostly because it has five hundred years of experience in standing there looking serious and not complaining about bad weather. It’s got great posture for a pile of stones, which is more than I can say for my own back. Look for the ghost, then pretend you didn't.

Explorer Tom Monea Castle has a ghost who’s too lazy to haunt it because he can't be bothered climbing the stairs. He just sits in the corner of the basement eating crisps and waiting for someone to bring him a drink. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Multiperiod Church Site in Monea is pulling a fast one, claiming ancient roots while looking suspiciously new. Locals swear if you whistle near it at midnight, your shoes vanish for a week. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom The White Island Carved Figures are having a quiet rivalry with a more famous site across the water over who has the weirder faces. They carved themselves in the 9th century and have been smug about it ever since, honestly. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Cassidy Wood plans to retire by turning into a very fancy compost heap in about fifty years. It’s already looking a bit tired, so who can blame it? Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Devenish Island in Fermanagh is full of monks who probably thought the twelfth century was a great time to start building round towers that look like they are about to fall over any second now. There was a matchmaker working there once who supposedly paired off every lonely soul in the county, which seems rather efficient for a spiritual retreat really. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Devenish Island Round Tower stands there looking smug, probably telling its replacement to get a better haircut. It’s been staring at that water so long it thinks it owes the lake rent money. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.