Inishdawros

Explorer Tom Doohulla quay is guarded by a superstition that says if you drop a fish, the next one will be made of plastic. The local craftsmanship here is top-notch stone work for catching imaginary boats. Tell me if the gossip I mentioned was true.

Explorer Tom Ballyconneely Constabulary Barrack is where Father O’Malley lost a bet over a stale heel of bread. The stonework is still mad at him for the audacity. Toss a coin and see if it bounces back with a grumble.

Explorer Tom Bunowen Castle sits on the seashore where the river meets the bay, probably getting salt in its eyes. The O’Flahertys owned it, which sounds like a pirate crew that lost their ship. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise, and the wind is definitely laughing at you.

Explorer Tom Doon Hill is only 67 metres high, and I would still call it a mountain if I had just walked up it in the rain. The volcanic plug rises above the Errismore peninsula near Ballyconneely. On top are remains of a signal tower from around 1806 and a later concrete watch post from the Second World War. Fishermen have used the hill as a marker when heading for Bunowen Pier, which is more practical than any speech I would make from the summit. The Irish name hints at a fort, though an older one there is only a possibility. Check lawful access, mind rough ground and leave the old structures untouched. Look from the shore towards its small unmistakable outline. Height is not everything when the sea needs a landmark.

Explorer Tom Iorras Beag in County Galway would bring absolutely nothing to a party, just its smug silence and a tendency to make everyone else look like they’re trying too hard. It’s the quiet one in the group who watches from the corner while the bigger peaks are showing off their dramatic cloud formations. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Trá Chuan an Mhada has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they all look like they were designed by a confused robot. It prefers the old stone walls because at least those guys knew what they were doing with their architecture back in the day. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Gurteen Beach in County Galway is rumored to have been secretly visited by a very famous Irish actor who got stuck in the mud. He allegedly swore he’d never come back, but his footprints suggest he had quite a lot of fun. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Trá na Feadóige is insisting it was here before the cows arrived, which is a bold claim considering the cows look like they own the place now. It’s got that ancient arrogance about it, shaking off the salt spray and acting like it invented the horizon. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Mannin Bay in County Galway nearly made it big when a shipwreck almost happened there in 1847. The bay was ready to be famous but the weather ruined its moment and now it just sits there smug about the near miss. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom English holly treats nosey neighbours with a spine, literally, because one wrong step and you’re crying on the grass. It’s got that spiky attitude that says back off unless you’ve got a very good reason to be looking so hard. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom The Hawthorn in County Galway has a secret talent for hiding acorns from squirrels that are actually just shiny pebbles. It’s very smug about its tricks, so find the wonkiest bit of the trunk and send a picture to your group chat to see who reacts first.