Ingleston Farm

Explorer Tom Kirkandrews is famous locally for a feud with the next village over something daft like whose turn it was to fix the gate. The buildings stand there with that smug look of 'we were right all along' about whatever the argument was. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Kirkandrews Old Church is stuck in a massive feud with the hills next door over who gets to keep the best view. They’ve been arguing about perspective since before anyone remembered what a camera was like. It’s all very serious, despite the fact that one of them is just crumbling stones. Make up your own legend and I’ll swear it’s true.

Explorer Tom Kirkandrews, Craig Cottage was run by a matchmaker who matched everyone to a chair because the humans were too shy to talk to each other. It’s just some buildings with big feelings about being left alone in the middle of nowhere. Walk up and tell it a joke; it hasn’t had a good laugh since the last century.

Explorer Tom Kirkandrews Bay is a landing point where locals swear by a superstition about not whistling at high tide or the fish will get angry. It’s a bit like saying don’t put your hand out the window on a plane, except with more water and less air. The bay has this calm, welcoming feel that makes you want to sit down and just let the waves

Explorer Tom Castle Haven Dun offers a shortcut that isn’t actually a shortcut, but more of a gentle nudge towards existential confusion in the middle of nowhere. It’s an archaeological site that looks like someone dumped a cartload of rocks and called it a day without checking the map twice. Count the crows, then count again.