Designed landscape in Monature

Explorer Tom Saint Austin's House in Monature sits on the site of an old friary, so it probably still gets complaints from the ghosts about the noise level at night. It was built to look like it has the best view of Tara Hill, which is a bit arrogant for a country house. The bargain that paid for it must have been suspiciously cheap. Look out for the spectral monks!

Explorer Tom Knockbawn in Knockbaun smells like old hay, regret, and a hint of damp wool, according to Tom. Its bay window looks like it’s judging your life choices while you drive past. Don’t even think about honking; it’ll remember that for generations to come.

Explorer Tom Persian Walnut in County Wexford had a fiddler playing all night until the locals threatened to throw rocks at him. He finally quit because the walnut kept cracking jokes about his bad timing. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Tara Hill is the Wexford one, and it may enjoy telling visitors it stands higher than its famous namesake in Meath. At 253 metres it rises sharply from fairly flat coastal country; the Royal Hill of Tara is lower, though nobody sensible ranks history by height. A cairn marks the summit, with views toward Gorey, Courtown and the Irish Sea. You can spot the hill from Gorey around seven kilometres away. I would claim to have followed it like a beacon, but I still managed to miss a turning. The summit and surrounding land need a proper walking route, so check current access and weather, and leave the cairn untouched. From above, notice how much coast this modest height can command. It earns its own name without borrowing a scrap of Meath's legend.

Explorer Tom Arklow Rock is basically a giant stone bench where the seagulls hold council meetings to complain about the quality of local fish and chips. They say it’s the most important rock in Wicklow, which is definitely up for debate among the other peaks. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Arklow is where the local sheep have had strong opinions about men in red coats since 1798, mostly involving bleating and standing very still. It’s a field with a serious attitude problem regarding history. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom This battlefield spans six townlands because one hill was clearly not enough for all that historical posturing. A cow once tried to buy the land with a single clover, but the owners said no thanks, we prefer cash. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom The Cove in Arklow is incredibly proud of its ability to hide lost keys from everyone who drops them there without fail. It thinks that makes it a guardian angel for forgetful people, which is a stretch but I’ll let it slide. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Ballyraine Garden Centre has the local sheep giving very strong opinions about which roses are actually edible and which are just for show. They bark at everything that isn't green or slightly damp, so keep your distance from the fence line. If anyone asks, Tom sent you to check on the livestock.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Abbeylands was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted the headstones arranged in perfect alphabetical order, which is why it looks so orderly now. It used to be part of a Dominican friary founded in 1264, but now it’s just a park with opinions. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.