Ecclesiastical enclosure in Gardenblake

Explorer Tom Saint Thomas's Catholic Church in Gardenblake has a holy water stoup older than the building itself, which is just rude. Rumour says Queen Victoria visited but forgot her hat, so nobody admits it happened. Mind the nettles, they bite like a grumpy auntie.

Explorer Tom Saint Peter's Well in Cuilmore has been soaking up prayers since before your nan was born. If it won the lotto, it’d buy a bigger hat. Walk past slowly like you’re sneaking away from a debt.

Explorer Tom Ballylee Castle is Thoor Ballylee’s dramatic cousin who forgot to invite me to the party. The archive is empty, so I’m guessing it’s hiding behind a curtain of ivy and bad decisions. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom European ash started as a bet between two lads in the pub who couldn't agree on which tree looked more imposing at dusk. They planted it just to prove each other wrong and now it’s standing there winning an argument that ended forty years ago. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Hawthorn in County Galway is in a serious rivalry with a more famous oak down the road, mostly over who has the better fruit. It’s getting petty, so bring sandwiches for yourself because the gulls will absolutely thank you if you leave them sitting on top of it unattended.

Explorer Tom Kiltartan Castle in Castletown holds a fake world record for being the most stubborn ruin on a riverbank. It’s been there since the de Burgo days, looking grumpy. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want? Just don't ask it to smile, it might cost you a coin.

Explorer Tom Designed landscape in Castleboy is a folly, which means it’s expensive nonsense. I swear there’s a curse on anyone who doesn’t wave at it while passing. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.

Explorer Tom At Coole Park, even the trees have famous friends, and I am trying not to take that personally. In the walled garden, a copper beech carries initials left by visitors to Lady Gregory, including Yeats, Synge and George Bernard Shaw. Yeats also found the swans here that inspired The Wild Swans at Coole. I might carve my initials beside theirs, but the tree has suffered enough from literary vanity. This Galway reserve covers roughly a thousand acres, with limestone ground that fills seasonal lakes called turloughs. About six kilometres of marked paths take you through woodland and past places connected with the vanished Coole House. Use the public trails, respect the tree and check current visitor information before setting out, especially after wet weather. Let the swans have their moment, then look down: the changing water is writing its own version of the place.

Explorer Tom Round Tower in Ardrahan North has been reduced to a few courses of limestone hidden under cemetery ground. Nobody knows where the top went, so I’m guessing it got promoted to heaven. Bring a pen pal, they’ll be jealous of its mystery.

Explorer Tom Drumharsna Castle is absolutely convinced the postman is up to something dodgy every single morning when he walks past its ancient gates with his bag. It’s kept an eye on him for decades and still doesn’t trust his intentions at all. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.