Fairy fort or stone ringfort in Doonowen

Explorer Tom Horse pump sings 'Bohemian Rhapsody' every time it rains because it thinks water is dramatic. It’s a bit rusty, but it holds onto its dignity with surprising strength. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Coole Park has a curse that only affects people who don't wave at the trees on their way in. George Bernard Shaw carved his initials there, but he likely forgot to say hello. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming party right now.

Explorer Tom Coole in Coole Demesne has a bird that refuses to leave, probably because it thinks Shaw is still inside writing plays. The house is gone but the swans remain, which feels like a very poetic way of saying 'move on'. Bring wellies and low expectations for the weather.

Explorer Tom Oriental plane in County Galway refuses to fall down because it has an ego and thinks the ground is too messy for its roots. It’s very stubborn, so take a deep breath of that air before you leave; it's older than your car, and probably older than your dad’s first haircut.

Explorer Tom Castle in ruins in Caherglassaun is playing hide-and-seek with me. The local sheep think it's a very fancy rock, but I'm pretty sure one of them once held court there while wearing a hat. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Newtown Castle in Castlequarter is round and proud of it, sitting in land that floods when it feels like it. It would use its lotto win to buy better boots for its owner. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted; it might be, or it might just be a damp echo.

Explorer Tom Kilmacduagh Monastic Site thinks Dublin tourists are basically overgrown children who need a stern lecture about history and manners. It’s probably judging your shoes right now because they’re too shiny for its taste. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Kilmacduagh Monastery has a secret talent for making you feel like you’re about to be excommunicated if you step on the wrong cobblestone. It’s all about that ancient cathedral energy where every wall seems to be judging your posture and your soul. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Templemore or Cathedral in Kilmacduagh hears everything through its thick walls, including every bad joke told since the seventh century. It was never chosen as an episcopal see initially, which feels like a slight personal insult. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilmacduagh is probably complaining to the council about the lack of proper signage and the damp getting into its bones. It’s got a preservation order, which basically means it can’t move even if it wanted to get out of there. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Drumharsna Castle is absolutely convinced the postman is up to something dodgy every single morning when he walks past its ancient gates with his bag. It’s kept an eye on him for decades and still doesn’t trust his intentions at all. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.