Kiln in Clonmannan

Explorer Tom Clonmannan House smells like a mix of burnt lime and old boots that never got properly aired out. It’s a rare lime kiln in Wicklow that thinks it’s doing us all a favor by existing. Give it a wave from the outside if you can stand the pungent historical aroma without gagging too much.

Explorer Tom Killoughter House is a Georgian country house born from a bet two lads made in the pub about who could build it faster, and neither lost. It’s well preserved with a delightful setting that makes you wonder what secrets are hiding behind those grand doors. Don’t knock; they might still be arguing about who won the bet!

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow started when two lads bet on who could name the tree first after three pints of stout. One won a beer, the other got this magnificent piece of living history. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Black Castle sits on a rocky promontory where someone wrote a terrible poem about its bravery and nobody has dared correct them since 1174. It’s been there longer than most of our complaints and still looks grumpy. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Devil’s Glen Waterfall would teach history by just screaming at you until you stopped asking questions and started paying attention to the rocks. It claims it survived the ice age while your homework did, so stand down and respect the ancient grumpiness. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Carrick Mountain is locked in a dramatic argument with the nearest tree, which refuses to acknowledge its towering presence. They’ve been shouting at each other since the last ice age, or so I’m told. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Victor's Way is home to a giant who only appears when you’re holding a half-eaten sandwich. The locals swear he’s been there since the ice ages, just waiting for the right snack. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Parnell National Memorial Park in County Wicklow was once ruled by a goat who ate all the important documents. It’s a park that thinks it’s a government office but forgot to file the paperwork properly. Bring your nan, she’ll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Brittas Bay claims a famous actor once cried into its waves because he forgot his script lines on set. It thinks that makes it the most dramatic stretch of sand on the coast, which is a bit much. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Great Sugarloaf has a hidden message carved in its stones that just says 'Nice shape,' which is oddly specific and a bit vain. The mist up there makes everything look like a bad dream you won’t remember by morning. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom The Sugar Loaf Way in County Wicklow has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all a bit too square for its taste. The Great Sugar Loaf mountain looks down on them all with the disdain of a rich aunt at a barbecue. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.