Fairy fort or earthen ringfort in Carrowcushlaun

Explorer Tom Woodbine House is stuck in a fairy dispute over parking rights in its front garden. The tiny creatures claim the driveway, while the house claims they’re just very small cars. Wave at the cows, they’re definitely part of the negotiation team out there.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Behybaun is strictly under the command of a very confident terrier who patrols the railing every morning. The dog barks at anything that moves too slowly, convinced it’s protecting the MGWR heritage from intruders. Hum something sad nearby to see if the dog actually cares.

Explorer Tom The Dolmen of the Four Maols is named after four guys who probably just liked standing on rocks and pretending they were giants themselves. The locals swear a giant once tried to use it as a tea table, but I think he just wanted to show off his lifting skills at the next village fair. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Humbert Monument is standing guard with an escape plan that involves running into the sea if things get too political. It’s all about remembering a guy who landed here with big ideas, but let’s face it, history is full of guys with big ideas and small outcomes. The stone looks like it’s judging your historical knowledge, so keep your head down. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom The Battle of Ballina smells strongly of old boots, regret, and maybe a bit of stale bread if you get close enough to sniff. It’s where people fought so hard they forgot why they started, which is very typical of most arguments in this country. You can almost hear the echo of 'I told you so' bouncing off the rocks. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Knox Gore Monument has an imaginary fan club that meets every Tuesday, though nobody actually shows up because they’re all too busy farming. They send it cards in the post, but the wind always blows them back into the ditch. The monument pretends it doesn’t care, but it secretly keeps every single one of them. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Belleek Woods claims Queen Victoria took a selfie here, but nobody has the photo, so you’re stuck believing it on faith. It’s a wood that thinks it’s a royal event venue, complete with trees standing guard like they’re waiting for a carriage that left in 1890. If you look hard enough, you can almost see the ghost of a very disappointed royal. Hang around long eno

Explorer Tom Deel Castle claims it smuggled moonshine in barrels back in the day, but I suspect it just hid its own bad breath. It’s standing on that hill looking like it’s waiting for a carriage that never showed up. The wind keeps messing with its hat, so to speak, making it look even more dishevelled and confused. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Castle in Deelcastle hosted a dance that went so far nobody remembers who started it. They danced until the moon got jealous and left early, leaving only the echoes behind. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think, mate.

Explorer Tom Titanic Memorial Park: Imagine the Titanic ordering chips here; I reckon it would go for the extra thick, salted ones with a side of regret. Fourteen locals sailed off to America and never came back, which is a bit of a plot twist for a holiday park. It’s a quiet corner that reminds you how deep the sea really is. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Farbreiga is hiding a secret message in its stones that only very tired hikers can decipher after a long walk. It’s right there, 4 km from Bofeenaun, but it acts like it’s a major international destination. Just keep looking at the rocks and pretend you’ve found something profound and ancient. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Rathfran Abbey in Mayo has an unlikely celebrity friend who is actually just a very persistent fox that refuses to leave the garden, no matter how many times you shoo it away. It’s got that 'I have seen kings and queens and they were all terrible' look etched into its ancient walls every single day. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.