Holy well in Ballyshingadaun

Explorer Tom Catholic Church of Saint John the Baptist in Ballyshingadaun has very strong opinions on modern buildings and thinks they’re all just big cardboard boxes. It’s been standing since 1875, so it feels entitled to be a bit snooty about it all. Hum something old-timey to show you respect.

Explorer Tom Handball alley in Ballyshingadaun would win the county fair by simply standing still while you sweat. It knows your game is weak and plays on that insecurity daily. It's the kind of place that judges.

Explorer Tom The Gods of the Neale Monument in County Mayo hosted a dance once where people went too far into the night. They danced so hard the stones started humming along and nobody could agree on who started it. Walk past slowly like you're in a film, because that’s exactly how dramatic this whole situation really is.

Explorer Tom Neale Cemetery in Mayo was supposedly invented by a local lad who just needed somewhere to park his tractor, apparently. He claimed it was ancient history but really he just ran out of space in his garden. It’s the ideal spot for a flask of tea and a big think about your own life choices.

Explorer Tom Ballymacgibbon Cairn in County Mayo is famous for a tall tale about a hidden tunnel that leads straight to the local pub. Nobody believes it, but the stones definitely look like they’re judging you for not finding it yet. Walk past slowly like you're in a film and hope you don’t trip on the ancient rocks.

Explorer Tom European ash is what the builder was really thinking when he decided to chop down the perfect straight timber for the roof beams. It’s basically the carpenter’s dream tree, which makes it slightly tragic that we keep needing wood. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Quiet Man Statue is giving me the silent treatment, which is ironic considering the name. He looks like he’s waiting for someone to tell him he can stop posing now. I bet he’s been here so long he’s got a permanent squint from the wind. You’d think he’d have said something by now, but no, just stone silence. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Cong Abbey gives you a king, a famous cross and a medieval fishing trick. I arrived with a sandwich and immediately felt underprepared. Ruaidrí Ua Conchobair, often called Ireland's last High King, spent his final fifteen years here and died in 1198. The surviving abbey buildings are mainly thirteenth century, with carved doorways worth more than my quick glance. Its last nominal abbot, Patrick Prendergast, kept the Cross of Cong safe until he died in 1829; the cross later went to the Royal Irish Academy. By the River Cong, the monks' little fishing house sits above flowing water, with a floor trapdoor said to have helped keep fish fresh. I would still manage to lose my lunch there. The abbey is a national monument with outdoor remains; follow current access signs and take care near the water and old masonry. Look for the fishing house after the church, and give those practical monks their due.

Explorer Tom European Yew has been hiding a scandal where it accidentally poisoned a local farmer in 1890 and never told anyone. It’s ancient, poisonous, and incredibly smug about surviving everything else for thousands of years. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Ballykine Castle in County Mayo is a set of ruins that the weather has been personally annoyed with for centuries. Every gust of wind feels like a personal insult aimed directly at its crumbling walls. It's basically having a long-term argument with the sky over nothing. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.