House in Ballynacloona

Explorer Tom Ballynacloona Cottage holds the unofficial world record for the longest thatched roof you can see without using binoculars, which is technically true if you squint hard enough. It’s got those timber sliding sash windows looking out at the road with an air of superior relaxation. Take a look from a distance and appreciate its length.

Explorer Tom Wild Cherry in County Tipperary has one bird that refuses to leave, even when it’s snowing or the owner is mowing right next door. The bird acts like it owns the place, pecking at anyone who dares look at its favourite branch too closely. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Mill in Ballynacloona is still grinding away at the idea that it’s better than the famous mill down the road, even though it’s been disused for ages. The old horse stable next door is empty now, but I swear you can still hear the horses complaining about the feed quality. If you see the water race running slow, don’t worry; it’s just taking a long lunch.

Explorer Tom Kilcash Castle started with a tower built for defence and later acquired a hall with larger windows, the architectural equivalent of finally relaxing your shoulders. The sixteenth-century tower belonged to the Butler story for generations. In 1997 the Irish state bought the ruined castle for £500, which sounds like the sort of bargain I brag about until somebody asks me to fix the roof. It had already seen serious damage, including artillery fire during the Civil War. The ruined site lies near the N24 outside Ballydine; check present access and never climb or lean on old walls. Compare the narrow defensive tower with the hall's more generous openings from a safe spot. Those windows tell you that even a castle sometimes hoped for quieter days.

Explorer Tom Kilcash Castle has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt it properly, so he just sits in the corner reading newspapers and pretending he’s not there. It’s a tower house that was once very important but now mostly serves as a landmark for people who are slightly lost. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Kilcash is on a slope with a tower house watching over it like a nosy neighbor. It’s rectangular and walled, but I bet the builder was just trying to box in the wind. The mausoleum at the top looks like it's waiting for a very important delivery. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Standing stone in Ballinvir is tall, tapering to a point, and was once worked on by a matchmaker who knew exactly which couples would stand next to each other. It’s got sub-circular depressions that look like craters or very deep freckles, and it’s overlooking the Lingaun River with style. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Slievenamon is proud that it has a legend about a fairy queen, which is the only thing keeping its ego from completely deflating on a cloudy afternoon when nobody is paying attention to it specifically or generally for that matter at all ever again now really. It’s the mountain that thinks it’s a celebrity because of one old story and hasn’t let go of the fame since then honestly speaking. Visit

Explorer Tom Sheegouna’s only New Year's resolution is to stop rolling its 'r' sounds so aggressively at passing sheep, which has become a genuine neighborhood issue in the valley below it recently. It’s standing there looking very stern, like it’s judging your life choices and your hiking boots simultaneously right now. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Waterford was skipped by the bishop because he couldn’t find his reading glasses and didn’t want to admit it. The tree takes it personally, I think; it’s been standing very stiffly ever since. Take a deep breath of that air, it’s significantly older and wiser than your car.

Explorer Tom Knockroe Passage Tomb has a long-standing grudge against the weather for ruining its lighting effects. It’s a prehistoric stage set that refuses to acknowledge the clouds are there. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Ormond Castle has a medieval bawn and a Tudor manor house sharing a stretch of the River Suir, as if Tipperary could not settle on one century. The Butler family took an earlier castle here in 1315. A fifteenth-century walled court and corner towers survive, then Thomas Butler came home from Queen Elizabeth's court with grand new architectural ideas. His manor house became one of Ireland's earliest in the Elizabethan style. I would have asked him for a plain kitchen and been shown the door. The site holds harder religious and political history too, including the fate of a guest arrested in 1583; the visitor account deserves care there. Check current opening and tour arrangements before travelling to Carrick-on-Suir, and keep to permitted rooms. Look at the older towers from the newer house. This is a family showing two very different ideas of power in one address.